9 Tips in Life that Lead to Happiness

Are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? These are important questions foranyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. If you want to be happy you need to understand that you can be happy and that you should be happy. Many people make the mistake of believing that they don't deserve happiness and accept their unhappy state as their destiny. The truth of the matter is that happiness, like anything else in life, needs to benurtured. The following are a few tips that I follow to create happiness in my life.

Understand what it is that will make you happy. Everyone has unique requirements for attaining happiness and what makes one person happy may be very different from what makes someone else happy. Revel in your individuality and do not worry about whether or not your desires are comparable to those of your peers.

Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy.Your mood will very likely increase as your pursue your goal because you will feel better about yourself for going after something you value.

Surround yourself with happy people. It is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way.Conversely, if you are around people who are happy their emotional state will be infectious.

When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Truly happy people don't allow set backs to affect their mood because they know that with a little thought they can turn the circumstances back to their favor.

Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy. These few minutes will give you the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life and will lead you to continued happiness.It's also important to take some time each day to do something nice for yourself. Whether you treat yourself to lunch, take a long,relaxing bath or simply spend a few extra minutes on your appearanceyou will be subconsciously putting yourself in a better mood.

Finding the humor in situations can also lead to happiness. While there are times that require you to be serious, when it is appropriate, find a way to make light of a situation that would otherwise make you unhappy.

Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Being overweight or not eating nutritious foods can have a negative effect on your mood. Additionally, exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness.

Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness.Those who believe that they are not worthy of happiness may subconsciously sabotage their efforts to achieve happiness. If necessary, tell yourself each day that you deserve to be happy and remind yourself what steps you will take to achieve the happiness you desire.

Happiness is hard to define but most people are aware of whether they are happy or not. Many people believe that happiness is a form of luck and that some people are destined to be happy while others are destined to be unhappy. I try to incorporate the tips above into my life and have had great success in achieving happiness. The tips in this article are small but meaningful steps that you can take each day to lead you to true happiness.

Do You Know How To Really Forgive Someone?

The Problem with Not Forgiving

Most people have at least one person in their life that they harbor anger against for some reason or another. For some the anger is due to a serious hurt, whether physical or emotional, such as assault or abuse. For others the anger stems from less important issues, but the anger is just as real and just as debilitating. For instance the resentment that can build up in a relationship over many years over many small and large differences. For some, maybe it is a co-worker that angers you, they ask too much of you, they sabotage you, or they just annoy you.

Why do we hold onto anger? At it's root, it's because we want to hurt that person back. The problem with this strategy is that it doesn't hurt the intended. It only hurts us. Think about it. Can you be happy when you are angry? Have you ever noticed that you have more accident sthe more angry you are? So how do you get rid of this anger? By forgiving.

The Problem with Forgiving

If forgiving is the answer to releasing your anger, why don't we do it? Well, because forgiving someone is hard! Another reason is that we don't know how to do it properly. And then there is the fear that by forgiving someone we are inviting them to hurt us again or that we are saying what they did was ok.

How to Really Forgive Someone

1)Examine Your Anger - Take some time to understand your anger. It's easy to say, "Well I just hate that person" or "That person drives me crazy." For some the reason for the anger is very clear as in the case of assault, for instance. But other times, the root of our anger is not so clear. Why does this person "bug you?" Why do you get angry at your boss? Why do you flip out when your spouse parks the car "the wrong way." The reason it is important to understand your anger is that if you identify clearly what the root is, then you can go about finding a possible solution. This doesn't work in all cases. But try this first anyway. Then ask yourself what can YOU do to make the situation better? If it's about trying to change a person, the only way to really impact a person is to love them, praise them and continually discover and focus on the good in that person. This takestime, but try it!! It really works. If it's an intolerable situation and you can't ignore it, find a way to not be around this person.

2) "Thank You for This Experience." Have you ever noticed how good can spring up from bad experiences? Just like after a forest fire the first thing you see is lots of little green plants starting to grow.What did you learn about your inner strength from your negativeexperience? What did you learn about yourself that has made you a stronger person? This doesn't make wrongs against you right. But it puts you back in the position of power, not victimhood. Remember, you have survived. Build on that! And little by little explore where you see small bits of green sprouting up in your life. Focus on that, have gratitude for that good, and you will be in the process of forgiving.

3) Relationship Resentment -Let it Go: Advice from the book "FollowYour Heart" by Andrew Matthews (one of my favorite books) is brilliant. In his book he talks about how we make up rules for how others should behave. If they don't behave that way, we make them"guilty" and we hold a grudge. But does it change the situation? No.All it does it "ruin our lives!" He uses humor to make a good point,"When a seagull craps on your head, do you resent the seagull?" Do you resent the weather when it rains? So why resent people?

Whatever the "guilty party" got wrong, it is history. The question is,"Do you want your life to work or don't you." And he also takes on the hard situations too. For instance, he a friend who found forgiveness after having his 3 teenage daughters murdered. It wasn't easy, but in the end he realized that only he had control over how he moved forward with his life. He didn't want his life to be miserable so he "let goof anger" for his "own sake and his own survival."

4) Meditate on Compassion: Imagine your antagonist as a baby. What has been their life? Why do they act in ways that hurt you or others? If you can find a small place of compassion, of understanding, then perhaps in seeing them as a victim of their circumstances, you may find a place of peace about what happened. Buddhism says: "for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all."Â Buddhism urges us to focus on loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity as "a means for avoiding resentment in the first place.

"The Dalia Lama lives a life of forgiveness in action. The book, "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" gives an account his life in this regard. Again this doesn't make crimes committed right. This doesn't mean that you should necessarily befriend a person who hurt you or that you shouldtake your guard down in protecting yourself from a dangerous person.But if you can find a place where you can wish for their healing, you will find your own healing. If this doesn't work, move onto #5.

5) Turn it over to God: Put your trust in God that God will take careof this situation in the long run. God will provide you strength. Godwill bring justice in the end. And hopefully God will heal theoffender too. Take comfort in God's love for you.


6) If you don't believe in God, then at least know that in science all things eventually come to equilibrium. And so, turn it over to the universe. Turn it over to your friends' and family's love for you.Allow yourself to be comforted and strengthened by their love.

7) Write it Down. Take all these suggestions and journal about your feelings and then write down the answers to the questions: How will I forgive? What will I gain by forgiving? What is the good in all this?What have I learned? How will my life be better by forgiving?

What Have You Got to Lose? - Only Peace

Who are you holding resentment against? Who are you angry at? Who do you hate? Do you want release from this heavy yoke around your heart?Do you want peace and happiness? Try forgiveness… for your sake. Take it slow. It is a process. Over time you can watch your anger melt. TheDalai Lama is said to have the heart health of a 20 year old according to his doctors. Why is that? Perhaps it just might be that he holds no anger. Imagine what it could do for you!

Please share your comments, experiences, and tips on Forgiveness! All comments big and small are very welcomed!

Candle Of your Life

Plunged into depths of deepest despair
Into darkness that seems endless and long
You reach out your hand and hold me tight
Needing my light to guide you along
I give you the brightness of my light
To drive away all your darkest fears

And for every ray of light that i give
I melts away in molten tears
When the cloud of despair is lifted away
When light prevails and darkness is gone
Am blown out and thrown aside
After all my need for the moment is done
And there I lie lost and banished
Neglected and ignored in your busy life
Untill the darkness descends once again
And you need once more this Candle of your Life
[courtesy-To that Red little Candle which shared its life in that lonely dark hours with me]

6 Ways to Cope with Abusive Boss and Irritating Co-Workers

Difficult people are a fact of life. At home you can avoid them by surrounding yourself with agreeable people, but in the work place most of us don't have that luxury.



While your natural tendency may be to avoid them at all costs, it's better to deal with them in a thoughtful manner. This is crucial to your career. If you develop the ability to work with anyone and handle the tough nuts, you'll be the natural choice for promotions and leadership positions.



The following are some suggestions for resolving potentially awkwardwork situations. Just remember, if we can learn to effectively deal with difficult people our work life will become much less stressful and far more enjoyable.



Self Confidence

When our lives are made difficult by unsympathetic and dominating people we can quickly lose our self-confidence. To avoid this it is important not to value the opinions of negative people. If we can maintain a self confidence and self belief then it will be easy to ignore the criticisms of difficult work colleagues. Self confidence will not be built by heavily criticizing the difficult person. Selfconfidence comes through remembering our own positive qualities.



Should You Find a New Job?

Sometimes the people we work with are so awkward that we want to move and get another job. This is a difficult choice. The first thing to remember is that if we move jobs, there is a high chance we will meet similar problems, just with a different set of people. If we keep moving jobs with the hope of finding an office full of saints, we will be continually on the move.



The first thing is to try and deal with the situation; we need to be detached from the awkward person as much as possible. However, if we have really tried everything possible and work is still making us miserable, then is it worth considering a new job. We spend so much of our waking time in our job that we can't allow unpleasant people to spoil it.



Dealing with a Dominating Boss

Some people enjoy bossing others around; maybe they have their own insecurities and so they try to take it out on their work colleagues.If you have a dominating boss there are no easy solutions. One solution is to give in on little things and consider them as insignificant. If they insist on small issues are done in a certainway then just comply. Generally, it is not worth arguing about thebest place to store the stapler - save your energy for more important issues. Don't feel bad about having to follow these small instructions, even if you don't agree with them. Just see it as partof your job.

However, whilst it is good to give in on small things, there are certain issues where we cannot allow ourselves to be pushed around. Ifyour boss is encouraging you to be unpleasant to others, lie or perform deceptive actions, then you should not feel compelled to follow. If you feel inwardly awkward about something then avoid doing it. If you start to follow all the whims of your boss, they will in variably seek to exploit your willingness and only ask you to domore awkward tasks.

If you are asked to do something you feel is wrong, you should also try seek the support of other members of staff and someone more seniorin the company. In these situations it is not helpful to suffer in silence; a good company should have a support procedure for this kind of eventuality. If your company has no support structure in procedure,consider looking for help from independent bodies who can offer advice.

Avoiding Arguments

Difficult people are usually even more troublesome when you get into arguments. If you are asked to do something you disagree with, it might be appropriate to maintain a silence and just avoid doing it. If your boss encourages you to do the wrong thing, don't feel obliged to tell him why he is wrong. Dominating people dislike being told they are wrong; in response they will just be defensive and more aggressive.Instead, just continue to do the right thing. For example, if you are encouraged to speak badly of other colleagues just refuse to do it;make a point of picking out some positive qualities of that person.
In these circumstances actions speak louder than words. Rather than arguing directly with our boss, we just don't follow their bad advice.This means we can avoid doing the wrong thing without having to tellour boss why they are mistaken. This may not help in every circumstance but it is often worth trying.

Dealing With Constant Criticism.

Some people seem to have an eye for picking up on people's faults. No mistake, no matter how small, seems to escape their attention. They even seem to get a certain sense of satisfaction from pointing it out.These kind of people are not much fun to work with, but we shouldn't let them make our work an unpleasant experience.Firstly, don't take all their criticisms to heart. If our presentation has a few errors, it doesn't mean we are a bad person. If someone is pointing out all our mistakes, remember all the good things you have done; critical people are often blind to the positive contributions people can make. Don't respond in kind. If we respond to criticism by
finding similar faults in the other person there will be no end to the negativity. Either just ignore it or try to find some good things thatother people have done. Just smile and remember how insignificant their complaints are.

Leave Work at Work

The good thing about working with difficult people is that at least at the end of the day, you can forget all about your work. But, make sure you do completely switch off from work, and avoid thinking about work problems in the evening and at the weekends. Develop a social life that doesn't involve just meeting work colleagues. It is good to make a clean break where there is no chance of the conversation being dominated by boring work stuff.If you find yourself worrying about awkward people away from work, itis a sign that they are having an unhealthy impact on your life. If this is the case, you need to feel greater detachment. Just try not to think about them, tell yourself that whatever problem exists can wait until the next workday.

Conclusion

It is not easy to offer advice about how to deal with difficult people. Every case is different. Whilst maintaining silence may be appropriate in one case, in another circumstance it may be better to seek the help of other people. There is no simple formula for dealing with difficult people. However, certain principles can make your life easier.The most important thing is to learn how to detach yourself from the problems at work. This means we don't allow awkward people to dominate our lives. The most effective way to do this is be careful what we think about. We need to ignore their complaints and criticisms anddevelop our self confidence. If we can develop self confidence then it will be much easier to deal with whatever situation we are facing.

Willing is not enough, You must do.....

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."- Les Brown

Instead of having a mental 'to do' list, a handful of good intentions or some vague desire to make changes, connect your plans for self improvement by focusing on specific goals. Goal setting helps you make better decisions, ensures you achieve your short- and long-term objectives, and allows you to measure your accomplishments.
But goal achievement, especially when it comes to self improvement,can be a mystery. Most of us have no trouble with the first step —setting a goal is the easy part — it's those other steps that can be apuzzle.

But you CAN turn achieving your goals into a science with the right strategies.

Here are a few of my favorites:

1. DO be specific.
DON'T deal in absolutes.Avoid the words 'some' and 'more', as in "I will get SOME exercise" or"I will eat MORE veggies and fruits." Deal in measurable things that you have control over. And never say 'never' or 'always.' All or nothing is a common attitude that leads people back to bad habits.

2. DO create a plan.
DON'T wait for "someday" to roll around.Setting the goal is just the first step. Know where you're going, what resources you'll need, who can help and — above all — what Plan B is when life throws a monkey wrench into Plan A.

3. DO write it down.
DON'T forget to give yourself a deadline.Deadlines turn wishes into goals, they generate the motivation necessary for you to get yourself to take action. The act of writing down your goal is powerful enough to keep you committed and focused.Better yet, find a visual that represents your goal or how your lifewill be different. Seeing it makes it seem more possible.

4. DO start small. DON'T focus on too many things at once.
Start very small, get the habit of starting handled, then build. Use a small goal that you know you can do each day for the next two weeks,like getting up without the snooze or drinking eight cups of water.Build that first habit to boost your confidence and pick up speed.

5. DO leave room for failure. DON'T expect perfection.
Persistence is key. Accept the fact that you might not make it on the first try. In a recent study, only 40 percent of people who successfully followed New Year's resolutions did it on the first try;17 percent of resolution achievers took six or more tries before they got it right — but they did get it right.

6. DO track your progress. DON'T fool yourself into failure.
Tracking provides valuable feedback and indications of areas that may need to be addressed or adjusted. Memory can be pretty selective. It conveniently forgets that extra brownie while remembering activity that never happened. The only way to know for sure is to track goals regularly with a checklist or journal.

7. DO reward your success. DON'T beat yourself up over failure.
This is the step that trips up most individuals. Negative reinforcement is all around us, telling us every day what we're doing wrong. This is not the approach to take to succeed with your goals.Why not focus on what you're doing right instead? If you take a stepback, learn from it and take two steps forward.

8. DO find a support system. DON'T try to do it alone.
Whether the goals you want to achieve are personal goals, business goals, or a combination of both, a goal buddy can be your key to goalsetting success. People that can help are all around you — on the forums, at work, even in your own family. Just add one person to your support group, and you double your motivation, double your energy,double your commitment — and double your FUN.

Measure your progress on a regular basis. Do a review of where you are and how far you've come every three months. Think of it as doing a quarterly performance review. One of the reasons resolutions and planscrumble in the face of day-to-day responsibilities is a lack of focus.Tie everything you do into your overall goal and you can achieve amazing results

Memories

My footsteps let to the attic floor
I felt the creaking staircase sway
Slowly and softly i climbed them up
Clearing the cobwebs away

The door sung back with ease and quiet,
The room lay dark and seemed at rest;
Trapped in the past,it lovingly held
Beautiful memories clutched to its breast.
The dull glow from my candle flame
Pick out shapes hauntingly old;
The years just rolled away from me
Each shape its foregotten stories told.

The framed photograph fallen on the floor
With unseen hand beckoned me near;
I cleared away the dust of fears
And gazed once more at those faces dear

Those blurred images sprung into my life
The present gone,I was back in the past ;
My remembering eyes clouded over,
Reliving the moment of love that I lost

A bundle of dusty letters I found
Held lovingly by a dirty bow;
My eyes caressed the printed words
Written in love those summers ago
The cards that proclaimed tender care
Still held in them petals of flowers,
Those soft fragrance brought back to me
The magic of those stolen hours

The broken sea shell,pale and smooth,
One of the relics time has spared;
I kept it to my ear and heard,
Echoes of joyful laughter shared

The rusty pen,the sketch so old
Each object brought me joy and pain
Though time went on,for me it stood still,
In a room where the past was here again
I sat among the snatches of memories
Their beauty mirrored in my tears.
In that silent room,echoes of yesterday
Were lost in time to human ears.

Alone

Alone I stand with no support,
Not even a hand to hold;
My silence speaks of profound pain
And of lonliness untold.
Each ray of sunshine into my life,
Brings a glimmer of hope with it;
But leaves me soon in the lonely dark,
Taking a part of me away with it.
It always takes, but never gives
Is that how it destined to be?
Only silence greets my unspoken thoughts
A silence that speaks volume to me.
My tears dried up by relentless sun,
Or washed away by uncaring rain;
My heart thats full of love and care
Is choked to death by loss and pain
My life devoid of hope and light
Is full of sorrowful shadows cast.
So I stand alone,proud and erect,
Forbidden and forgotten,loved and lost.

How to Resolve Conflicts in Your Relationships

Every relationship in our life - friendships, family, romantic and professional - can potentially be destroyed by conflict. The solution is not to ignore the conflict or keep moving around hoping to find a set of perfect people. We need to deal with the problems we currently face, otherwise they will just reappear elsewhere.
To a large extent, the only thing we can change in relationships is ourself and our own attitude. We can't expect to change other people,but we can learn to deal with relationships in a way that promotes harmony and diffuses conflict. Resolving conflicts in relationships is one of the most important life skills we can develop and it is something we need to value.

Seeing the Issue From the Other Person's Perspective.
If we have a difficult issue, it is important to see the problem from the other person's perspective. This does not mean we have to agree with their viewpoint; it means we try to see the issue from a different perspective. This empathy can at least help us to understand where they are coming from, and why they have their particular mindset. If we can do this we may wish to moderate our stance because we understand why they are acting in a certain way. If we only look at things from our perspective, conflict will be much more likely to occur. For example, a parent dealing with difficult children should consider the perspective that children can have at that point in life.

Tolerance
A major cause of conflict in relationships is when we expect people to behave in a certain way. The problem with expecting certain behaviour is that we get upset when they fail to live up to our expectations.Even those close to us are not our responsibility; we need to be tolerant of their mistakes and limitations. We have to respect their decisions on how to live their life. This detachment is not indifference; we shall retain concern and goodwill, but there comes apoint where we need to give people the freedom to make their own choices - even if we don't agree with them. This is especially true for parents who have an overbearing expectation of how their children will live their lives.

Dealing with Anger
Unfortunately, if we respond to situations by getting angry we will exacerbate the problem. Anger embodies a feeling of aggression and condemnation which people struggle to deal with it. Invariably it encourages people to respond in a similar way. If we feel angry, the best solution is to avoid talking / arguing at that particular time.We should calm our anger before confronting other people. Any conflict will only be exacerbated by anger. Similarly, if people approach us with anger, we have to respond in a different way - silence is better than getting mad at someone.

Value Harmony
To a large extent we get what we aspire for. If we really value harmony in our relationships with others, then we will make it happen.If we give greater important to proving ourselves right and our own ego, then there will be a constant feeling of superiority and inferiority which breeds conflict. If we keep reminding ourselves ofthe desirability of harmony we won't allow ourselves to become miserable; we will work hard to think of others.

Oneness
The real secret to maintaining good relationships is generating a feeling of oneness. This means we will feel happy at the success of others; we will sympathize when they experience difficulties; we will endeavour to avoid hurting their feelings. In oneness there is no superiority and inferiority. Without oneness, we are prone to feelings of pride, jealousy and insecurity. If you feel a really genuine sense of oneness with other people, how can you want to hurt them?

Insecurity and Inner Poise
When we are full of insecurities our relationships become more difficult. The problem is that if we are insecure about ourselves we can become judgemental about other people; to make ourselves feel better we will start criticizing others. We may not be conscious of this, but it does happen. When we are peace with ourselves, good relationships will be natural. When we have inner peace and poise, we don't rely on other people to give us security and praise. When we are at peace with ourselves, we tend to have a sympathetic and positive view of the world. Often we want to blame bad relationships on otherpeople; but, actually the only thing we can really do is to work on ourselves. If we develop inner peace and poise our relationships will definitely improve.

Talking
When tense situations arise, talking can be the most effective way of moving past the problem. Some things are best left unsaid; it is inadvisable to bring up old conflicts unless absolutely necessary.When talking we should try to converse on positive issues; look for things which we agree on and can work together on.

Perspective
Don't get upset about little things. In the great cosmic game, most oft he minor personality conflicts are relatively insignificant. If we get mad when someone doesn't do the washing up, how are we going to react when they do something really bad? If you find yourself getting worked up by a series of small things, take a step back and try to evaluate their relative importance. For each minor failing try tot hink of a really good quality of that person. If you are sincere you will feel that this good quality is far more important than the minor indiscretion.

Raising Problems
Although we don't want to bring up old scores, sometimes it is important to make another person aware of the problems they are creating. If we feel someone else is constantly doing something wrong,we need to make them aware of their behaviour in a non confrontational way. Often people just aren't aware of the problems they are creating and may actually appreciate being made aware of the problem. The best approach is to try and make them aware of how their actions cause painto others; but, we need to try and do it in a way that doesn't make them feel excessively guilty. Give them room and encouragement to make the necessary change.No conflict is intractable. If we are willing to change our attitudewe can develop harmony even with difficult people. It is always important to be positive and forget the past. If we can develop harmony in our relationships, it will definitely make a big difference to our life.

what not to do in conversation?

Sometimes we find ourselves in unpleasant situations because we've said something wrong or just in a wrong manner. Although the art of conversation looks quite simple, there are many rules to follow in order not to create a bad impression.

1. You shouldn't be the only one to talk even if you are the greatest story-teller ever. Even if you've been to the North Pole and you've seen polar bears and whales that doesn't mean that you should talk the entire evening. Avoid using "I" in everything you say because the others will think you are egocentric.

2. Avoid repeating the same idea even if it's brilliant, don't jump to a conclusion after every statement you hear from the others and don't talk in general about people after just hearing one case. All these would only lead to one result:
-if you are the host, your guests will start finding excuses: theyhave children at home, a project to finish…
-if you are a guest the others will avoid you and you will findyourself in an uncomfortable position.

3. If you are not sure about the meaning of a word try not to use it just to impress. It's not a shame to use a dictionary when necessary and this way you won't make a fool out of yourself. Many times people discuss about personalities or about the international situation. If you don't know how to pronounce a name you should ask because no one was born to know it all.

4. Even if you are right about something, not only once but a million times, let the other person finish and then tell your opinion about the subject. Express your opinions calmly and try not to be ironic and violent in order not to spoil everyone's evening. Try to be respectful, especially in what involves the elderly. By being calm the others will be more interested in what you are saying.

5. When talking to someone try to look him or her in the eye so or else that person will think you are not sincere or that you are just not interested.

6. When supporting an idea try to use rational arguments; don't approve an idea you are not sure of and don't contradict everything just to be original. You won't attract the others' attention in a pleasant way.If the "opponent" has had more arguments than you and proved to know more about the subject don't leave looking offended or upset. Smile and put an end to the discussion in a polite way or even more let yourself convinced.

7. When meeting someone new, talk about yourself but seize the right moment to let the other person speak too. Don't ask too personal questions especially questions that could affect the one you are talking to such as "So how come that you divorced after only a year?"

These are just a few rules but in fact there are many more to follow.What is the most important is to think about how the others feel and to respect them. And there is always something to learn in order to be successful, and this depends greatly on your ability to interact with other people; being able to carry a conversation is important for everybody.

Reflections

There is stillness in the air
No chirp,no rustle,no blare
The mind mindlessly reflects back
At what life has and what it lacks
The days just passed by
Like a short breeze,cold but dry
How moments slipped away so fast
Taking away the first and last
How each decision,every move
Decides whether you win or loose
The game of life that is to be placed
Time keeps on moving...memories fade
But the shadow of what had been
Always remain...not unseen
It is in something you can wash away
But accompanies you through your way
The experience of your shadow
Help you make choices as you grow

Stress management

Stress management is the controlling and reducing of tension that occurs in stressful situations. Everyone copes with stress everyday."I'm SO stressed out!" - It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every one you know . Most people are unprepared to deal with stressors that trigger feelings that can make us sick. Literally,sick.

Here are 7 coping skills to stress proof your life.

1.Know how to relax - find a quiet place, get comfy make sure your body is well supported. Breath slowly and deeply.

2. Eat right and exercise often - avoid caffeine and refined sugar,eat dairy products which may improve your mood. Make exercise a part of your daily life-even if it's only taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking at the far end of the lot.

3. Learn it is OK to say 'no'. Often, many of us feel we have to say'yes' to everyone, every time we're asked for help. You can't be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need.

4. Take a mini-vacation from stress. If you can find fifteen minutes aday, or one hour a week if daily isn't possible, make a date withyourself. Schedule a walk around the block, lunch in the park, asunrise or sunset alone, a bubble bath without interruptions.

5. Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

6. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone. Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

7. Have a good sense of humor. Be a resource to yourself. Try something new, learn to play again. Laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that restore calm.

It's how you react to stress that makes all the difference in maintaining your health and well-being. Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress is not the same foreveryone. You'll never completely get rid of stress, but you can learn to manage stress with coping techniques that work for you. I hope that I've given you some great ideas on how you can deal with stress