From the mirror I see...

From the mirror I see, the beauty inside me
That sees the grandeur of love and care.
For everything I feel comes natuarally,
And from the mirror I see, dreams will soon become a reality.

From the mirror I see, the artist inside me,
Full of imagination and does things creatively.
With the soft strokes of brushes, I can draw my words
And to paint them with happiness so that I can favourably be alive.

From the mirror I see, the priest inside me.
Who openly helps the people especially the needy.
I offer them together in my prayers as Iam sheperd of the flock
And I will patienly wait for answers from the creator
until all will be unlocked.

From the mirror I see, the architect inside me.
Who carefully design the paths life will set for me.
with one hope, my two feet will forever take steps on ground
to help me realise that smiles will always come after every frowns.

From the mirror I see, the engineer inside me.
who build my dreams as tall as century old tree.
from the top I will endure to climb with all my might.
So that when I fall, I will always learn to take flight.

From the mirror I see, the story teller inside me.
who playfully plays with my mind that keeps me entirely
It makes me belive in fairy tales and happy ending stories,
because of the same thought of doing it for my childhood fantasies.

From the mirror I see, the prisoner inside me.
who unwearyingly waits for the time to be truly free.
with every time I think. I truly learn it day by day
.And to value life to be the fullest.

From the mirror I see, the adventurer inside me.
Who playfully runs whenever I want to flee.
With every step I make, I see pure bliss from my sight.
And learn many things that will help me push through with life.

From the mirror I see, the poet inside me.
Who offers nothing but my Heartily-made poetry.
With every words I think I write it perfectly,
To earn value care and dignity that I will share to my readers-to-be.

And lastly from the mirror I see,is the same person that really look like me
the person I belive that has the capability of living a legacy.
Every time I gaze at the mirror, I see her looking back at me.
And she helped me see, the possibilities of being me,from the mirror I see.

My sky...

The sky
The sky is barred
The sky is black and ruined
poisoned and dark
waisted,void
The birds,birds are gone.
The birds are nested away
Nested on broken glass and tainted steel
Nested in festering death
Nested in thorny oaks
Nested
Grounded
The trees, trees are falling
The trees, the trees are grand and deadly ill
torn and ravaged and blown apart
blown by hollow winds in a dying sky
The trees, the strong, the proud
The dying ,dying dead
The trees
The birds
The sky.

May be my life is
Incomplete...
Trying to balance myself
On my feet...

I've been spinning around
In circles, with passion
Before i hit the ground
A thousand smiles are
reflecting back at me

Everyone becomes a star
a moon ,a splendid sun..
Spinning in some direction
Trying to reach out,
For some sort of connection

Whilst i hit my bed
Laying here, eyes closed
but never sleeping...
I can't see time,
But i hear it moving
I hear the old groaning
of this ancient planet
...Turning....
I wonder if it's dizzy
It's moving slower
m
The edges of my mind
begning to fray
firm stiches, undone
starting to stray...
Threads are falling
loose and uncontrolled
as i near insanity
Big black hole...
and exhausion drags the sigh
from my lips
whilst i am wondering, when
this world will die?

Free fall What

and i think
I say trees,~'hello,you are taking the world back, I see
I say sun,~'hello you are taking the skin on my back, i see
dont take too much of the world
or my skin is important to me.

I say your name over and over
You say mine once,sh baby sh!
You grab my hand and
Its ok, I Feel like woman

and i can think
I say sky,~ 'hello can i store your blue in my lungs
Sky says, 'no' but i take it anyway
Sky takes it back when we go down.
And i dont care

You also say,'no'and iam taking it anyway
but dont take it back when i go down
i know you wont.
I trust our love.

what happened to our love?

You tell me everything will be ok
Beg me to trust you
and then leave me nothing left to say
I mean really, what do you expect me to do?
I told you i need time all the more
Yet once Iam where you want me, you walked out the door,
Leave me nothing but a heart to bleed
love blinded by hate.
I never thought it would be this way
I guess there ia always gonna be something too late
In a pool of blood Iam left to lay

When sun comes up in morning
And you realize what has been done,
Do not try to comfort anyone in mourning

What can bring him back, i dont know!

The knife fell from her hand in a shower of crimson
And she caressed his heart,
Bare and feebly beating in her hand,
Clutching it close,
Since she could not hold it before.

This is the only way,she thought
to rescue him from herself~
He belongs to me.

But his eyes no longer shone
so she took that too
preserving them in her best crystalline jar
so she could at last gaze to them.

But his cheeks no longer resembled pretty roses
so she drank up his blood
In hopes that
she could burn red for him

But he no longer spoke
And thats when she knew~
without his lovely words he could never
profess his love
to her

And she took up the knife once more...
and joined him in eternal slumber

Synthetic smile

Through my titanium nerves,
I feel
a draining pulse of mystery,
reaching
my stainless steel heart beat

I really wonder why
by this unforgettable sense
of being iam
Both from inertia freed
and yet by doubt restrained

My artificial mind touched
by unknown troubles awakening
Something deep down
this miserable existance

Would it last for ever?

For a semblence of humanity
i would surrender to mortality

And yet having no god
to pray for it .
I am lost
In my synthetic dreams

Some people should never be parents

She only meant
something to you
When your life was in chaos
and had no one to
warm your heart

When life got to much
for you
You expected her to "be
there for" you.
And i had to remind you
she was only 11
And that was not her
purpose to do.

You blamed her for your
problems
For the ones who
eventually left you
(because they could no
longer tolerate your
drama )

Over stressed her to
keep her quiet
Played out the victim and
martyr oh so well
Seeking out pity where
none should have been given
to you anyway...

Placed everyone and
everything,
Above and before her,
When really she should
have been your priority,
Chose another person's
daughters over her ,
Then kicked her out of
her mind
at the age of only 14

You spoke her of verbal abuse,
'how it was your cross to bear
as she was so dysfuntional
And out of control,
She deserved what she got'
(oh not!)

Ah I know you
at those ages
Loved
Doted
Pampered
Tolerated
Spoiled
Envoloped in the utter
love and affection
of your own mother

When i think of her
upbringing,
In stark contrast of yours
I want to cry ,
At what you got and
didn't give ,
What she deserved but
never received

But you were too busy
being all about you
A victim
A martyr
A taker
A user
A loser
Never responsible
Never wrong.

Despite your lack of
parenting
She has become
Accomplished
Talented
Humble
Ravishing
Intelligent
well and whole
while your faves

remain nothing...

Splitting of an atom

paranoia eats me up,
makes me gasp and panic,
There'z no one to calm me
and the voice inside of me whispers poison
I think its not part of me.
I think something outthere is in my head,
I think someone is trying to hurt me,
I think its trying to end my life.
I dont want life to be life like this.
Looking around the corner before turning them,
Listening for sounds of people coming,
watching people,
Beliveing that they are trying to hurt me.
This paranoia is killing me.
Its rippimg my soul out slowly .
I lost trust in everyone around me.
and watch them,
Over analysing what they say,
I walk fastI run away from people,
I watch them suspiciously,
I watch my back.
This paranoia will end me .
and i can't stop it,
becoz someone is realy out to get me,
to hurt me again and again,
And they are right behind me.
good bye.

something in your way

can you see them?
The messengers of love,
with wings shattered
and stained in fear,
plunging into my chest,
and tearing out murky life stones,
as it were clay.
Melting over them,
tiny bundles of sorrow, safely
entombed with guardians of hate,
and inky lights to guide their way,
can u see them?

art... heart... art...

Music rolls up the
waves of silent lake.
Painting is chasing,
a beam in dark cave.
Dance is a whirl
on the line of stillness.
Act arise from the
ark of agony.
art is the mark of
ancient awareness.

logical thoughts!!!!

Graphite and pain
My dear, what you have
to be afraid of?
Life is a simple test
with multiple choice answers.
A through C speak of
procreation lastly.
Letter D of heartbreak
and the love making...

graphite and pain
Ink and disarray
Circle shines like fiends.
All of the above for
saints of our dumb love,
Just grade out our hearts and leave,
just grade our hearts.

who tries..?

Who tries so hard,
to figure it out,
Tease out the stubborn logic;
Understand building blocks,
Assemble the cause and effect,
Isolate, direct and indirect;
Ponder-if,then,else;
Interrogate-him,her,self;
Review it word by word;
Say again the heard and unheard;
Syllable by syllable;
More patience than thoughts able;;
Scientist,Logician, professor, Physician,
The experienced, the phD?
No , Silly, the poet, me.

long time before...

When i was young and alone, I would tell tales of those who had loved and lost.
I would ramble on about love and passion and delicate working of human soul. When i was young and alone I could tell about the intricate lacings of the human heart as lyrically as any mystic poet.I would weave stories of star crossed lovers from the strings of forgotten truths. When i was young and alone, i would dream of a warm touch of a lover whose eyes saw only me. I would lie in the bed for hours, squeezing my eyes tight so that the fantasies i had painted never slip away.When i was young and alone, i was so very much alone in my passionate wisdom and infinite rhyme.
But now as lie in your arms, i have no deep insights to impart on this world. i have no wisdom to set sail upon the wind.Now as i lie here on your shoulders,I no longer need to dream. for nothing, for nothing i had ever conjured was ever sweet as the brush of your cheeks against mine, or the smell of your body as you pull me in close. I have no need for lengthy ballads to nameless lovers. i make claims to ancient wisdom.
For all i know and all i could ever have to say, i need but 3 words forever... I love you.

((i wrote this long tym ago in my diary, since he has left in search of ''much more '' from his life.but god latenight , when the distractions that can fill your life in the hollowest of waysfall away, i feel void so much that all i can do is cry.I'm terrifed of allowing me to crumble but even more so of ever becoming too strong)

If i were wrong
could you sing a song?
A song that prove i was right
to behold all that i see within the silence of night.
A song that bring forth the light
should i ever seize my mouth and start write?

If you were wrong,
would you sing me a song?
About how dragon fancies it mating flight,
Or perhaps how they embrace each night,
May be you could sing to me of their height
Or with it how they seldom fight?

If we were wrong,
Could we sing out this song?
Of a million stars shining against the broken of blue,
How I gaze into your eyes, so deep and mystical too?
A song about a heartbeat that beats as one so true?
Pray the day, should i ask,are we to say i do?

Even if we were wrong,
would it change much of the song?
About a dragon and his partner of opal hue,
Embraced their flight as they higher flew,
A mystical air that surrounds them both, i knew
we cant stay angry like this, lets remain happy like them.

ribcage of my mind

Fallen glass and shattered spectrums;
Fallen dreams and dusty plectrums;
Rotting rainbow most beloved;
Rusty faces, soil has covered;
Filthy screams and curled eyelashes;
Fuming head and pretty gashes;
All these pieces fill the ribcage-
THEY MAKE UP MY MIND.

happiness

Happiness is a cycle,
It comes from love
and flows with joy.
It comes and goes as it please,
flowing through your day like disease.
do you feel happy every day and night?
I doubt you might.
As i walk through my hallway
I wonder am i truely happy each day?

Fryday

Thursdays just dont count and
words dont mean twice as much.
Thursdays dont work like fridays
It's May and it's a friday.
It's May and it's a friday.

It was 2 years ago,
it was 3 months ago.
it was.

Friday to him means inhale,inhale,inhale.
to her skull,skull,floor.
to them party, party,party, crash.
to other her, study,study,study,nap.

Friday ends and the week will still roll on,
between his fingers,
between her lips,
between the sheets.
You either wake up tommorow
or you don't.

Uncertain

look before you leap,
Better safe than sorry.
Prevention is better than cure...
A stiching time saves nine...
but, he who dares wins.
Don't count your chickens
Better to have loved and lost.
Conflicting informations, advices
and proverbs.

Here iam at the crucible,
Unsure of where i stand.
Do i err on the side of caution?
or do i keep aiming for the moon
to land among the stars.

mocking life

Birds are telling me
i should sleep.
I'm considering it,
assuming their intentions are pure.
Still i dont know what pure is,
other than a mocking theory.

Darkness is the hardest

I felt the warmth of your breath
brush on the nape of my neck,
and the weight of your hand
rest own my shoulders,
But i know you were never there
So why do i feel damn alone?

I felt your hands stroke my own
and smelled your skins soft bouquet,
But i know that you were never there
so why do i feel damn betrayed?

I felt you fingers caress my hair,
and the beats of your heart,
wash away my pain,
But i know that you were never there
So why do i feel so damn insane?

Wasted nothing all this time

What if I end up being everything
you were trying to find?
I may, I never said I wasted anything
except my time expecting so much ,
expecting so much that i think i am gonna find
Open up my head now
and all i see is the memories.

what if i end up being nothing
you were afraid to find?
you could be broken
and i would be right there broken with you
Or you could be screaming
and I would be right there screaming with you.

If you wanna change the world
of this time and make it ours...
I would be right there by your side.
What if i turn up being everything
you were trying to find?

Cloudy paranoid

You are across the room,
But baby: you will never be closer.
I can feel your breath rippling on me.
and your smell- rusty and delicately sweet.
and then you look at me feverishly,
and then you are gone.
The light sweeps in through the windows
and you are a ghost that I wont see ever again.

Firm footing of a gay.

I'm not guy but...
I'm knott gay but...
I'm not gay butt...
I'm not ghey but...
Eye'm not a gay but...

I'm not a gay but I know how to feel love,
and lust and want.
I'm not a gay but I understand wanting
to spend life with someone.
I'm not gay but I want to be happy.
I'm not a homosexual, however...

...am a human being.
which gives me something in common with all of you.

Gay included.

The Tempress

Muse, muse, muse again and confuse.
Flames of desire tower high
and only a mist to quench.
Is the occassional whetting of the tongue worth
the burn ever-present?
some moments here and there.
A brain -racing,-folding,-twisting, -turning.
that defines and stops time.
Oh damn, God damn
What can I do next?
To restore bladness of normalcy?
Then to plunge into its depth.
and to fret over again!!!

The proud Addict

The proud addict.
A caricature.
Compensating for lack of substance -
with substances.
Denying reality by substituting other.
Cannot make sense,
so become senseless.
Celebrate self-inflicted demise
and call it a party.
Drinking from the punchbowl of death
in a slow, cultish,mass suicide.
Solace in knowing the outcome:
death by its own hands.

Get Out of My Head.

It's easy enough, isn't it?
Just block them out.
Pretend they're not real. They don't exist.
Don't think twice.
They are the others. The outsiders.The unfamiliar.
It's easy to block them out and imagine they are somewhat less than you are.
Faceless. Heartless. Immoral.
Evil and unclean.
Their destruction would be a justified holy act.
Their continued existance would be an anethema.
Or worst still. They wont' even register.
Your radar remains mute.
Their is nothing to notice. Nothing important than yourself.
Other people dont' count.
Even the closest to you barely register a blip on your screen.
Other people are outside. They are just the other.
No matter how hard you try.You cannot know who they are.
Now matter how much they reveal,they will always remain hidden.

Basically. Essentially.When you get down to it.
What I am trying to say is in the most gayest, most poetic way possible.
No matter how hard you try,
and no matter how much you think you know.
You will never ever truely know someone.
And they will never ever truely know you.

Other people will always be removed and
apart from who you are.
And thats' a large part of what makes life interesting.

I've seen the future, baby

I've seen the future.
I've seen mobile phones in the size of peanuts.
I've seen video games more realistic than life.
I've seen perfect sexual organs grown and
welded between the legs of rich and famous.
I've seen movies animated, written and conceived entirely
by the computers.
I've seen children starving in far away places.
I've seen 12 year old girls in lingre dancing to,
the repackaged disco songs and being asked their ,
opinions of art and its relation to cultural evolution
by impossibly clean cut men(!).
Anyone who can hold mirror to the past can see the future,
but it takes a open-hearted mind than I,
to like what they see.

In the fond memory of recession

photo courtesy-deviantart.com

I like to think that world has turned a page.
Or even opened an entire open book.
I'm hopeful .
But let's be honest.

Reality has a knack for crushing a man's dream.

Human beings have achieved much in the last few thousand years.
Fire, the wheel, language,clothing and electricity..
space exploration,genetics.
And because already we have done so much, I continue to hold out hope
that we will do more..
Much more.

Sure, it's easy to remain cynical. especially when all we
ever hear is bad news.
But bad things have always happened and
will continue to happen.
Somehow we've managed to rise above and
move beyond the horrors and limitations of
a corporeal existance.

I think it's upto each of us to do the best we can.

Yes, we can rebuild everything.
Yes, we can help the poor.
Yes we can eliminate hunger
Yes, we can cure disease
Yes, we can travel to stars
Yes, we can evolve
Yes having little deeds may not amount much to the cause.
But Iam hoping that it will at the very least be symbolic of something greater.

An era of rationality, love and hope.

I feel the world is changing and
the first time I feel it's changing in the right direction.

where did february go??

Damn... where did february go? I jus turned around and its' gone!!![ also this flipping blogger just ate some of my post] . It may be the reason why I dont update as often as I could. Blessed thing.Perhaps a Fairy will come by to helpout me in blogging.

okay, what did I have to say about my february... something about having 'law of inertia' and having lot of dreams to realise. I have been sitting empty headed for a quiet long time but still I did something which help my dreams I know.

I have charted out some resolutions( I belive in montly resolutions rather that yearly ones)
so here comes my resolutions
I decided-

* To react nicely to all those angry, irritated , fussy Faces around me.
*To be persistant. act g3 act. Action is your keyword while following dreams.
*To engage only( i emphasise only) in non-toxic arguments
*To not surrender my creative urge to write on blogs when i see blessed technical alerts in blog like "cud not contact blogger.com. saving and publishing may fail. Retrying..."

only this for march.

I love my Life.