Thoughts DistilleD

From the mirror I see...

2010-12-11T15:13:00.005+05:30

From the mirror I see, the beauty inside me
That sees the grandeur of love and care.
For everything I feel comes natuarally,
And from the mirror I see, dreams will soon become a reality.

From the mirror I see, the artist inside me,
Full of imagination and does things creatively.
With the soft strokes of brushes, I can draw my words
And to paint them with happiness so that I can favourably be alive.

From the mirror I see, the priest inside me.
Who openly helps the people especially the needy.
I offer them together in my prayers as Iam sheperd of the flock
And I will patienly wait for answers from the creator
until all will be unlocked.

From the mirror I see, the architect inside me.
Who carefully design the paths life will set for me.
with one hope, my two feet will forever take steps on ground
to help me realise that smiles will always come after every frowns.

From the mirror I see, the engineer inside me.
who build my dreams as tall as century old tree.
from the top I will endure to climb with all my might.
So that when I fall, I will always learn to take flight.

From the mirror I see, the story teller inside me.
who playfully plays with my mind that keeps me entirely
It makes me belive in fairy tales and happy ending stories,
because of the same thought of doing it for my childhood fantasies.

From the mirror I see, the prisoner inside me.
who unwearyingly waits for the time to be truly free.
with every time I think. I truly learn it day by day
.And to value life to be the fullest.

From the mirror I see, the adventurer inside me.
Who playfully runs whenever I want to flee.
With every step I make, I see pure bliss from my sight.
And learn many things that will help me push through with life.

From the mirror I see, the poet inside me.
Who offers nothing but my Heartily-made poetry.
With every words I think I write it perfectly,
To earn value care and dignity that I will share to my readers-to-be.

And lastly from the mirror I see,is the same person that really look like me
the person I belive that has the capability of living a legacy.
Every time I gaze at the mirror, I see her looking back at me.
And she helped me see, the possibilities of being me,from the mirror I see.

My sky...

2010-05-29T17:58:00.003+05:30

The sky
The sky is barred
The sky is black and ruined
poisoned and dark
waisted,void
The birds,birds are gone.
The birds are nested away
Nested on broken glass and tainted steel
Nested in festering death
Nested in thorny oaks
Nested
Grounded
The trees, trees are falling
The trees, the trees are grand and deadly ill
torn and ravaged and blown apart
blown by hollow winds in a dying sky
The trees, the strong, the proud
The dying ,dying dead
The trees
The birds
The sky.

2010-05-29T17:05:00.004+05:30

May be my life is
Incomplete...
Trying to balance myself
On my feet...

I've been spinning around
In circles, with passion
Before i hit the ground
A thousand smiles are
reflecting back at me

Everyone becomes a star
a moon ,a splendid sun..
Spinning in some direction
Trying to reach out,
For some sort of connection

Whilst i hit my bed
Laying here, eyes closed
but never sleeping...
I can't see time,
But i hear it moving
I hear the old groaning
of this ancient planet
...Turning....
I wonder if it's dizzy
It's moving slower
m
The edges of my mind
begning to fray
firm stiches, undone
starting to stray...
Threads are falling
loose and uncontrolled
as i near insanity
Big black hole...
and exhausion drags the sigh
from my lips
whilst i am wondering, when
this world will die?

Free fall What

2010-05-29T16:48:00.002+05:30

and i think
I say trees,~'hello,you are taking the world back, I see
I say sun,~'hello you are taking the skin on my back, i see
dont take too much of the world
or my skin is important to me.

I say your name over and over
You say mine once,sh baby sh!
You grab my hand and
Its ok, I Feel like woman

and i can think
I say sky,~ 'hello can i store your blue in my lungs
Sky says, 'no' but i take it anyway
Sky takes it back when we go down.
And i dont care

You also say,'no'and iam taking it anyway
but dont take it back when i go down
i know you wont.
I trust our love.

what happened to our love?

2010-05-29T16:39:00.004+05:30

You tell me everything will be ok
Beg me to trust you
and then leave me nothing left to say
I mean really, what do you expect me to do?
I told you i need time all the more
Yet once Iam where you want me, you walked out the door,
Leave me nothing but a heart to bleed
love blinded by hate.
I never thought it would be this way
I guess there ia always gonna be something too late
In a pool of blood Iam left to lay

When sun comes up in morning
And you realize what has been done,
Do not try to comfort anyone in mourning

What can bring him back, i dont know!

2010-05-29T16:27:00.003+05:30

The knife fell from her hand in a shower of crimson
And she caressed his heart,
Bare and feebly beating in her hand,
Clutching it close,
Since she could not hold it before.

This is the only way,she thought
to rescue him from herself~
He belongs to me.

But his eyes no longer shone
so she took that too
preserving them in her best crystalline jar
so she could at last gaze to them.

But his cheeks no longer resembled pretty roses
so she drank up his blood
In hopes that
she could burn red for him

But he no longer spoke
And thats when she knew~
without his lovely words he could never
profess his love
to her

And she took up the knife once more...
and joined him in eternal slumber

Synthetic smile

2010-05-23T00:24:00.008+05:30

Through my titanium nerves,
I feel
a draining pulse of mystery,
reaching
my stainless steel heart beat

I really wonder why
by this unforgettable sense
of being iam
Both from inertia freed
and yet by doubt restrained

My artificial mind touched
by unknown troubles awakening
Something deep down
this miserable existance

Would it last for ever?

For a semblence of humanity
i would surrender to mortality

And yet having no god
to pray for it .
I am lost
In my synthetic dreams

Some people should never be parents

2010-05-16T18:41:00.015+05:30

She only meant
something to you
When your life was in chaos
and had no one to
warm your heart

When life got to much
for you
You expected her to "be
there for" you.
And i had to remind you
she was only 11
And that was not her
purpose to do.

You blamed her for your
problems
For the ones who
eventually left you
(because they could no
longer tolerate your
drama )

Over stressed her to
keep her quiet
Played out the victim and
martyr oh so well
Seeking out pity where
none should have been given
to you anyway...

Placed everyone and
everything,
Above and before her,
When really she should
have been your priority,
Chose another person's
daughters over her ,
Then kicked her out of
her mind
at the age of only 14

You spoke her of verbal abuse,
'how it was your cross to bear
as she was so dysfuntional
And out of control,
She deserved what she got'
(oh not!)

Ah I know you
at those ages
Loved
Doted
Pampered
Tolerated
Spoiled
Envoloped in the utter
love and affection
of your own mother

When i think of her
upbringing,
In stark contrast of yours
I want to cry ,
At what you got and
didn't give ,
What she deserved but
never received

But you were too busy
being all about you
A victim
A martyr
A taker
A user
A loser
Never responsible
Never wrong.

Despite your lack of
parenting
She has become
Accomplished
Talented
Humble
Ravishing
Intelligent
well and whole
while your faves

remain nothing...

Splitting of an atom

2010-05-16T02:06:00.003+05:30

paranoia eats me up,
makes me gasp and panic,
There'z no one to calm me
and the voice inside of me whispers poison
I think its not part of me.
I think something outthere is in my head,
I think someone is trying to hurt me,
I think its trying to end my life.
I dont want life to be life like this.
Looking around the corner before turning them,
Listening for sounds of people coming,
watching people,
Beliveing that they are trying to hurt me.
This paranoia is killing me.
Its rippimg my soul out slowly .
I lost trust in everyone around me.
and watch them,
Over analysing what they say,
I walk fastI run away from people,
I watch them suspiciously,
I watch my back.
This paranoia will end me .
and i can't stop it,
becoz someone is realy out to get me,
to hurt me again and again,
And they are right behind me.
good bye.

something in your way

2010-05-16T02:01:00.003+05:30

can you see them?
The messengers of love,
with wings shattered
and stained in fear,
plunging into my chest,
and tearing out murky life stones,
as it were clay.
Melting over them,
tiny bundles of sorrow, safely
entombed with guardians of hate,
and inky lights to guide their way,
can u see them?

art... heart... art...

2010-05-16T01:57:00.002+05:30

Music rolls up the
waves of silent lake.
Painting is chasing,
a beam in dark cave.
Dance is a whirl
on the line of stillness.
Act arise from the
ark of agony.
art is the mark of
ancient awareness.

logical thoughts!!!!

2010-05-16T01:51:00.003+05:30

Graphite and pain
My dear, what you have
to be afraid of?
Life is a simple test
with multiple choice answers.
A through C speak of
procreation lastly.
Letter D of heartbreak
and the love making...

graphite and pain
Ink and disarray
Circle shines like fiends.
All of the above for
saints of our dumb love,
Just grade out our hearts and leave,
just grade our hearts.

who tries..?

2010-05-16T01:41:00.001+05:30

Who tries so hard,
to figure it out,
Tease out the stubborn logic;
Understand building blocks,
Assemble the cause and effect,
Isolate, direct and indirect;
Ponder-if,then,else;
Interrogate-him,her,self;
Review it word by word;
Say again the heard and unheard;
Syllable by syllable;
More patience than thoughts able;;
Scientist,Logician, professor, Physician,
The experienced, the phD?
No , Silly, the poet, me.

long time before...

2010-05-16T00:35:00.003+05:30

When i was young and alone, I would tell tales of those who had loved and lost.
I would ramble on about love and passion and delicate working of human soul. When i was young and alone I could tell about the intricate lacings of the human heart as lyrically as any mystic poet.I would weave stories of star crossed lovers from the strings of forgotten truths. When i was young and alone, i would dream of a warm touch of a lover whose eyes saw only me. I would lie in the bed for hours, squeezing my eyes tight so that the fantasies i had painted never slip away.When i was young and alone, i was so very much alone in my passionate wisdom and infinite rhyme.
But now as lie in your arms, i have no deep insights to impart on this world. i have no wisdom to set sail upon the wind.Now as i lie here on your shoulders,I no longer need to dream. for nothing, for nothing i had ever conjured was ever sweet as the brush of your cheeks against mine, or the smell of your body as you pull me in close. I have no need for lengthy ballads to nameless lovers. i make claims to ancient wisdom.
For all i know and all i could ever have to say, i need but 3 words forever... I love you.

((i wrote this long tym ago in my diary, since he has left in search of ''much more '' from his life.but god latenight , when the distractions that can fill your life in the hollowest of waysfall away, i feel void so much that all i can do is cry.I'm terrifed of allowing me to crumble but even more so of ever becoming too strong)

2010-05-15T23:56:00.005+05:30

If i were wrong
could you sing a song?
A song that prove i was right
to behold all that i see within the silence of night.
A song that bring forth the light
should i ever seize my mouth and start write?

If you were wrong,
would you sing me a song?
About how dragon fancies it mating flight,
Or perhaps how they embrace each night,
May be you could sing to me of their height
Or with it how they seldom fight?

If we were wrong,
Could we sing out this song?
Of a million stars shining against the broken of blue,
How I gaze into your eyes, so deep and mystical too?
A song about a heartbeat that beats as one so true?
Pray the day, should i ask,are we to say i do?

Even if we were wrong,
would it change much of the song?
About a dragon and his partner of opal hue,
Embraced their flight as they higher flew,
A mystical air that surrounds them both, i knew
we cant stay angry like this, lets remain happy like them.

ribcage of my mind

2010-05-15T23:49:00.009+05:30

Fallen glass and shattered spectrums;
Fallen dreams and dusty plectrums;
Rotting rainbow most beloved;
Rusty faces, soil has covered;
Filthy screams and curled eyelashes;
Fuming head and pretty gashes;
All these pieces fill the ribcage-
THEY MAKE UP MY MIND.

happiness

2010-05-15T23:45:00.006+05:30

Happiness is a cycle,
It comes from love
and flows with joy.
It comes and goes as it please,
flowing through your day like disease.
do you feel happy every day and night?
I doubt you might.
As i walk through my hallway
I wonder am i truely happy each day?

Fryday

2010-05-15T23:37:00.003+05:30

Thursdays just dont count and
words dont mean twice as much.
Thursdays dont work like fridays
It's May and it's a friday.
It's May and it's a friday.

It was 2 years ago,
it was 3 months ago.
it was.

Friday to him means inhale,inhale,inhale.
to her skull,skull,floor.
to them party, party,party, crash.
to other her, study,study,study,nap.

Friday ends and the week will still roll on,
between his fingers,
between her lips,
between the sheets.
You either wake up tommorow
or you don't.

Uncertain

2010-05-15T23:31:00.002+05:30

look before you leap,
Better safe than sorry.
Prevention is better than cure...
A stiching time saves nine...
but, he who dares wins.
Don't count your chickens
Better to have loved and lost.
Conflicting informations, advices
and proverbs.

Here iam at the crucible,
Unsure of where i stand.
Do i err on the side of caution?
or do i keep aiming for the moon
to land among the stars.

mocking life

2010-05-15T23:27:00.002+05:30

Birds are telling me
i should sleep.
I'm considering it,
assuming their intentions are pure.
Still i dont know what pure is,
other than a mocking theory.

Darkness is the hardest

2010-05-15T23:16:00.005+05:30

I felt the warmth of your breath
brush on the nape of my neck,
and the weight of your hand
rest own my shoulders,
But i know you were never there
So why do i feel damn alone?

I felt your hands stroke my own
and smelled your skins soft bouquet,
But i know that you were never there
so why do i feel damn betrayed?

I felt you fingers caress my hair,
and the beats of your heart,
wash away my pain,
But i know that you were never there
So why do i feel so damn insane?

Wasted nothing all this time

2010-05-15T23:02:00.002+05:30

What if I end up being everything
you were trying to find?
I may, I never said I wasted anything
except my time expecting so much ,
expecting so much that i think i am gonna find
Open up my head now
and all i see is the memories.

what if i end up being nothing
you were afraid to find?
you could be broken
and i would be right there broken with you
Or you could be screaming
and I would be right there screaming with you.

If you wanna change the world
of this time and make it ours...
I would be right there by your side.
What if i turn up being everything
you were trying to find?

Cloudy paranoid

2010-05-15T22:55:00.004+05:30

You are across the room,
But baby: you will never be closer.
I can feel your breath rippling on me.
and your smell- rusty and delicately sweet.
and then you look at me feverishly,
and then you are gone.
The light sweeps in through the windows
and you are a ghost that I wont see ever again.

Firm footing of a gay.

2010-03-03T23:23:00.002+05:30

I'm not guy but...
I'm knott gay but...
I'm not gay butt...
I'm not ghey but...
Eye'm not a gay but...

I'm not a gay but I know how to feel love,
and lust and want.
I'm not a gay but I understand wanting
to spend life with someone.
I'm not gay but I want to be happy.
I'm not a homosexual, however...

...am a human being.
which gives me something in common with all of you.

Gay included.

The Tempress

2010-03-02T22:08:00.004+05:30

Muse, muse, muse again and confuse.
Flames of desire tower high
and only a mist to quench.
Is the occassional whetting of the tongue worth
the burn ever-present?
some moments here and there.
A brain -racing,-folding,-twisting, -turning.
that defines and stops time.
Oh damn, God damn
What can I do next?
To restore bladness of normalcy?
Then to plunge into its depth.
and to fret over again!!!

The proud Addict

2010-03-02T21:59:00.005+05:30

The proud addict.
A caricature.
Compensating for lack of substance -
with substances.
Denying reality by substituting other.
Cannot make sense,
so become senseless.
Celebrate self-inflicted demise
and call it a party.
Drinking from the punchbowl of death
in a slow, cultish,mass suicide.
Solace in knowing the outcome:
death by its own hands.

Get Out of My Head.

2010-03-02T12:02:00.004+05:30

It's easy enough, isn't it?
Just block them out.
Pretend they're not real. They don't exist.
Don't think twice.
They are the others. The outsiders.The unfamiliar.
It's easy to block them out and imagine they are somewhat less than you are.
Faceless. Heartless. Immoral.
Evil and unclean.
Their destruction would be a justified holy act.
Their continued existance would be an anethema.
Or worst still. They wont' even register.
Your radar remains mute.
Their is nothing to notice. Nothing important than yourself.
Other people dont' count.
Even the closest to you barely register a blip on your screen.
Other people are outside. They are just the other.
No matter how hard you try.You cannot know who they are.
Now matter how much they reveal,they will always remain hidden.

Basically. Essentially.When you get down to it.
What I am trying to say is in the most gayest, most poetic way possible.
No matter how hard you try,
and no matter how much you think you know.
You will never ever truely know someone.
And they will never ever truely know you.

Other people will always be removed and
apart from who you are.
And thats' a large part of what makes life interesting.

I've seen the future, baby

2010-03-01T13:13:00.003+05:30

I've seen the future.
I've seen mobile phones in the size of peanuts.
I've seen video games more realistic than life.
I've seen perfect sexual organs grown and
welded between the legs of rich and famous.
I've seen movies animated, written and conceived entirely
by the computers.
I've seen children starving in far away places.
I've seen 12 year old girls in lingre dancing to,
the repackaged disco songs and being asked their ,
opinions of art and its relation to cultural evolution
by impossibly clean cut men(!).
Anyone who can hold mirror to the past can see the future,
but it takes a open-hearted mind than I,
to like what they see.

In the fond memory of recession

2010-03-01T12:12:00.001+05:30

photo courtesy-deviantart.com

I like to think that world has turned a page.
Or even opened an entire open book.
I'm hopeful .
But let's be honest.

Reality has a knack for crushing a man's dream.

Human beings have achieved much in the last few thousand years.
Fire, the wheel, language,clothing and electricity..
space exploration,genetics.
And because already we have done so much, I continue to hold out hope
that we will do more..
Much more.

Sure, it's easy to remain cynical. especially when all we
ever hear is bad news.
But bad things have always happened and
will continue to happen.
Somehow we've managed to rise above and
move beyond the horrors and limitations of
a corporeal existance.

I think it's upto each of us to do the best we can.

Yes, we can rebuild everything.
Yes, we can help the poor.
Yes we can eliminate hunger
Yes, we can cure disease
Yes, we can travel to stars
Yes, we can evolve
Yes having little deeds may not amount much to the cause.
But Iam hoping that it will at the very least be symbolic of something greater.

An era of rationality, love and hope.

I feel the world is changing and
the first time I feel it's changing in the right direction.

where did february go??

2010-02-28T21:07:00.001+05:30

Damn... where did february go? I jus turned around and its' gone!!![ also this flipping blogger just ate some of my post] . It may be the reason why I dont update as often as I could. Blessed thing.Perhaps a Fairy will come by to helpout me in blogging.

okay, what did I have to say about my february... something about having 'law of inertia' and having lot of dreams to realise. I have been sitting empty headed for a quiet long time but still I did something which help my dreams I know.

I have charted out some resolutions( I belive in montly resolutions rather that yearly ones)
so here comes my resolutions
I decided-

* To react nicely to all those angry, irritated , fussy Faces around me.
*To be persistant. act g3 act. Action is your keyword while following dreams.
*To engage only( i emphasise only) in non-toxic arguments
*To not surrender my creative urge to write on blogs when i see blessed technical alerts in blog like "cud not contact blogger.com. saving and publishing may fail. Retrying..."

only this for march.

I love my Life.

Everyday

2010-02-28T13:03:00.000+05:30

You are still there
everyday.

you are still bending over,
backwards,
forwards,
everyway you can.

Just to make it happen.
Just so one day.
may be
you will set yourself free.

Those were The Days...

2010-02-27T13:44:00.002+05:30

I remember the school.
I remember good stuff.
I remember bad stuff.

I remember that time I took a beating' cause i was
smaller than the other guy and he could.
I remember the day when I accidently called my science teacher "amma"
I remember the hardships I used to face for no reasons at all.
I remember that time when i was 10 and that next-door-oldie tried to feel me up .
I remember being bold enough to slap that man.
I remember being too scared to adress the crowd.

If I knew then , what I know now, things would
have turned out quite different.
But If I knew then what I know now, I would not be
the girl I am today

food for thoughts in difficulties

2010-02-20T22:04:00.000+05:30

* Do manage you situations. don't let yourself to be managed by situations.
* Think about your wonderful memories , affirm yorself that this situation wont last forever and it is just a passing cloud. ( tommorow this problem will pave way for other problems know? wink)
*Dont ,Please dont let this problem to create more problem in other phase of life. Ex-Dont let personal problem to create flaws in your work. -Dont mix up things-. otherwise you will be tangled by more and more problems.
more points will be added...

advantages of being a guy than a girl.

2010-02-20T21:49:00.000+05:30

1- they can piss anywhere, even in road side( this point is the real motivation of this post)
2- if they flirt around, society is more likely to accept that fact with a it-happens attitude.
3- they can enjoy more freedom , both from home and society.
4 they have no fear of being raped, even if it happened they wont get pregnent.
5- they can show their enjoyment by removing their shirt when india wins the game.
6- Their arrogance, irritation and anger would be accepted by society more easily.
more points will be added by author lately..

g3 joke

2010-02-20T21:40:00.001+05:30

"what is the different between stubborness and determination"? g3 asked.
" when you are doing something your way and succeed, that is determination" her soul repiled.
" when you do something your way and you failed, that's stubborness." her soul chuckled back.

Why are you troubled?

2010-02-14T01:11:00.001+05:30

My heart why are you troubled?

Why is these darkness all around?

Why do you search for something that's

Never to be found?

Why do you cherish each bit of sunlight

and every moment filled with glee?

Why there is a lonely feeling?

Why is it I, myself and me?

How long will you run and hide?

How long will you pretend?

How far is your destiny?

When will these journey end???

LOVE....

2010-02-10T14:45:00.000+05:30

"I love him but I cant call me as a lover". my heart wants to know why?
"You love him but you are not love"- soul replied.

"Be love. submit yourself to the trance of love, unconditionally . forget your self , forget the world. Dont count. Dont hesitate.. be free. free yourself in the hands of love then the cosmic soul will reveal the truth, the ultimate truth- the joy of being love itself. Then it radiates... when it shines, flaws vanish..when it whispers, you forget every pain"- soul adds

then it whispers-if you are in love , you may argue. from the moment you become love.. no more complaints wil be there .no more doubts no more conditions exist.nothing can bother you then. you just indulge in immense ecstacy. you will become ' eternal ecstacy'. your soul rests in total harmony.better be love than being in love.
be love .. be love! my soul sings again and again.

In the fond memory of a broken love..

2010-02-09T02:06:00.000+05:30

On those early hours of morning,

when I awake half sleepy,

where blanket can't help me from the cold

and again his thought haunts me ...

and moreover, his love haunts me like a painful dream,

tears roll down like that shine like sharp piercing crystals of memories

in the early rays of sun. I am trying another day to forget those moments.

still... again and again.. his memories rushes in.. know y?

coz it is love.. in all true sense..

but intense love often hurts.. first it gives everything. later it retain nothing for us. It makes us to know each other to keep us far way. It shower dreams to shatter it later. It fills hopes in eyes to replace it with tears then.

When I had looked up at the sky before, I could see only romantic blue and feel the cool breeze.Nor did I notice those dark clouds. Nor did I expect that the breeze would turn into hurricanes. When I saw those twinkling stars, never did I notice that it was dark around like how the sky never was nor did I expect that I would be left in darkness one day, like how I failed to notice those thorns in roses.We only see the beauty in everything when we are in love, we know the darker side in fact but we dont care for it purposly.

I did love red rose once, so were those red rose which accompanied divine love but as I told before all the beautiful things pain me with his memories. I started avoiding those beautiful things like how my life lost it charm when he went away. I plead , I begged.. but my words are of no value now. It magnified my emotions once. But a million words couldnt bring him back. I know as I tried infinite times. my words worth nothing when the one who loved it once cares it no more. even a billion listners cannot compensate for that single listner.

Is it better to hate than love?(sometimes I doubt)- we hardly moist our eyes for one whom we hate but tear rolls out for love! An enemy ofcourse understand our hatred and hate us more than we hate them but a love fails to give back even a drop of love we gave... But still my dear, tears shed in love worth lot more than those empty plastic smiles devoid of love.

Sometimes I feel we shouldnt love some until we get them forever( quite bizzare). Why should we fetch our heart with despair and eyes with tears in those fond memories? Why should those tender dewdrops and cool breeze pain us in deep? Why should those rainy days make us feel all alone? Why should we hate to look up at the stars and roses? Why shoud we make ourselves hate all those beautiful thing once longed to be in the sight always? Yet, to be in love and to be loved, can give a bouquet of lovely memories that lingers it fragrance forever.

To my ' one and "only one" @ life.com

2010-02-09T01:12:00.001+05:30

...

In the journey Iam on

You are my 'one'

Yea, my one and only 'one'

........

When sun shine on top

I will be your shade.

When troubles do unfold.

I will be on your side.

...........

When you hold my hand

I know, you are the 'one'

Yea my one and only one

...

When I close my eyes.

Its only you stands there.

We we'll build life together.

We 'll share same roof

and it'll be my heaven.

and i'll live in with my god.

...

You are my one and only one.

You are my wish come true.

Bcc- #$%#@gmail.com,$%^^&**^@yahoo.com,

@#$&**@gmail.com@#^^..........

.......................................

...................................................

..............%$*&^$@ymail.com.............

WhaT we miSs

2010-02-05T17:30:00.001+05:30

A walk in rain.
Laze gaze on green lawn.
Moon lit night.
Watching sunset.
looking into the blue sky.
seeing your inner being.
A cup of coffee.
Dash of chocolate.
Scent of new book.
Friend's loving look.
a forehead kiss.
hands on strings.
silly fights.
random walks.
These all are ' the bliss',
We often miss.

If you didnt feel it yet,
My dear.I pity.
Oh why should I?
Lot of chances still awaits.
Its there for us.
A heart to feel,
Thats all we need.
To feel the life,
To be alive.

An emotional orphan

2010-02-02T12:04:00.000+05:30

You know what it means?
You have an address ,
Yet no addresse to adress
You remain as no one amid them.
You retain nothing, not even your likes

... .....

Heck of advice hang about,

Lot of complaints roam around,

Conditions surround and chaos is for sure.

Dont ask for any help. better dont be- i assure.

As that is a sin, a ruthless offense.

That is what i think-

And all holy thing they mean.

...... ....

They greet you with silence,

when you crave to hear some words.

They treat you like futile.

When you do die for care.

They tie you head to toe.

When your wings desire to soar.

..... ....

"Keep it on you mind

Hold fast on your path.

You are unseen always

Until you can prove you.

They are here to follow

As you are here to lead".

Sleep....

2010-02-02T11:37:00.000+05:30

Sleep , my refuge, my resort, my support.
Like a friend you secured my secrets so old,
Like a mom you heard all stories I told.

You were there when I need you
and you streched out your arms .
You are here with your shoulder
When I need someone to lean on.

.....

You sang all those lullabies,

which is only known to fairies.
You whispered all those secrets,
all that dreams can only realize.

......

I was smashed, I yearned, I drowned

You were there in my side as a comrade.
and you secured all my tears.
I kicked, I stabbed , I got wild
To get rid of my fears
You stood for my part.
and you shared all my cares.

......
Sleep... my dear, do bless
Kiss me on my eyes.
Take me on your wings.
Let my soul to sing.

9 Tips in Life that Lead to Happiness

2009-03-25T08:37:00.000+05:30

Are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? These are important questions foranyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. If you want to be happy you need to understand that you can be happy and that you should be happy. Many people make the mistake of believing that they don't deserve happiness and accept their unhappy state as their destiny. The truth of the matter is that happiness, like anything else in life, needs to benurtured. The following are a few tips that I follow to create happiness in my life.

Understand what it is that will make you happy. Everyone has unique requirements for attaining happiness and what makes one person happy may be very different from what makes someone else happy. Revel in your individuality and do not worry about whether or not your desires are comparable to those of your peers.

Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy.Your mood will very likely increase as your pursue your goal because you will feel better about yourself for going after something you value.

Surround yourself with happy people. It is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way.Conversely, if you are around people who are happy their emotional state will be infectious.

When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Truly happy people don't allow set backs to affect their mood because they know that with a little thought they can turn the circumstances back to their favor.

Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy. These few minutes will give you the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life and will lead you to continued happiness.It's also important to take some time each day to do something nice for yourself. Whether you treat yourself to lunch, take a long,relaxing bath or simply spend a few extra minutes on your appearanceyou will be subconsciously putting yourself in a better mood.

Finding the humor in situations can also lead to happiness. While there are times that require you to be serious, when it is appropriate, find a way to make light of a situation that would otherwise make you unhappy.

Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Being overweight or not eating nutritious foods can have a negative effect on your mood. Additionally, exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness.

Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness.Those who believe that they are not worthy of happiness may subconsciously sabotage their efforts to achieve happiness. If necessary, tell yourself each day that you deserve to be happy and remind yourself what steps you will take to achieve the happiness you desire.

Happiness is hard to define but most people are aware of whether they are happy or not. Many people believe that happiness is a form of luck and that some people are destined to be happy while others are destined to be unhappy. I try to incorporate the tips above into my life and have had great success in achieving happiness. The tips in this article are small but meaningful steps that you can take each day to lead you to true happiness.

Do You Know How To Really Forgive Someone?

2009-03-24T06:32:00.000+05:30

The Problem with Not Forgiving

Most people have at least one person in their life that they harbor anger against for some reason or another. For some the anger is due to a serious hurt, whether physical or emotional, such as assault or abuse. For others the anger stems from less important issues, but the anger is just as real and just as debilitating. For instance the resentment that can build up in a relationship over many years over many small and large differences. For some, maybe it is a co-worker that angers you, they ask too much of you, they sabotage you, or they just annoy you.

Why do we hold onto anger? At it's root, it's because we want to hurt that person back. The problem with this strategy is that it doesn't hurt the intended. It only hurts us. Think about it. Can you be happy when you are angry? Have you ever noticed that you have more accident sthe more angry you are? So how do you get rid of this anger? By forgiving.

The Problem with Forgiving

If forgiving is the answer to releasing your anger, why don't we do it? Well, because forgiving someone is hard! Another reason is that we don't know how to do it properly. And then there is the fear that by forgiving someone we are inviting them to hurt us again or that we are saying what they did was ok.

How to Really Forgive Someone

1)Examine Your Anger - Take some time to understand your anger. It's easy to say, "Well I just hate that person" or "That person drives me crazy." For some the reason for the anger is very clear as in the case of assault, for instance. But other times, the root of our anger is not so clear. Why does this person "bug you?" Why do you get angry at your boss? Why do you flip out when your spouse parks the car "the wrong way." The reason it is important to understand your anger is that if you identify clearly what the root is, then you can go about finding a possible solution. This doesn't work in all cases. But try this first anyway. Then ask yourself what can YOU do to make the situation better? If it's about trying to change a person, the only way to really impact a person is to love them, praise them and continually discover and focus on the good in that person. This takestime, but try it!! It really works. If it's an intolerable situation and you can't ignore it, find a way to not be around this person.

2) "Thank You for This Experience." Have you ever noticed how good can spring up from bad experiences? Just like after a forest fire the first thing you see is lots of little green plants starting to grow.What did you learn about your inner strength from your negativeexperience? What did you learn about yourself that has made you a stronger person? This doesn't make wrongs against you right. But it puts you back in the position of power, not victimhood. Remember, you have survived. Build on that! And little by little explore where you see small bits of green sprouting up in your life. Focus on that, have gratitude for that good, and you will be in the process of forgiving.

3) Relationship Resentment -Let it Go: Advice from the book "FollowYour Heart" by Andrew Matthews (one of my favorite books) is brilliant. In his book he talks about how we make up rules for how others should behave. If they don't behave that way, we make them"guilty" and we hold a grudge. But does it change the situation? No.All it does it "ruin our lives!" He uses humor to make a good point,"When a seagull craps on your head, do you resent the seagull?" Do you resent the weather when it rains? So why resent people?

Whatever the "guilty party" got wrong, it is history. The question is,"Do you want your life to work or don't you." And he also takes on the hard situations too. For instance, he a friend who found forgiveness after having his 3 teenage daughters murdered. It wasn't easy, but in the end he realized that only he had control over how he moved forward with his life. He didn't want his life to be miserable so he "let goof anger" for his "own sake and his own survival."

4) Meditate on Compassion: Imagine your antagonist as a baby. What has been their life? Why do they act in ways that hurt you or others? If you can find a small place of compassion, of understanding, then perhaps in seeing them as a victim of their circumstances, you may find a place of peace about what happened. Buddhism says: "for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all."Â Buddhism urges us to focus on loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity as "a means for avoiding resentment in the first place.

"The Dalia Lama lives a life of forgiveness in action. The book, "The Wisdom of Forgiveness" gives an account his life in this regard. Again this doesn't make crimes committed right. This doesn't mean that you should necessarily befriend a person who hurt you or that you shouldtake your guard down in protecting yourself from a dangerous person.But if you can find a place where you can wish for their healing, you will find your own healing. If this doesn't work, move onto #5.

5) Turn it over to God: Put your trust in God that God will take careof this situation in the long run. God will provide you strength. Godwill bring justice in the end. And hopefully God will heal theoffender too. Take comfort in God's love for you.

6) If you don't believe in God, then at least know that in science all things eventually come to equilibrium. And so, turn it over to the universe. Turn it over to your friends' and family's love for you.Allow yourself to be comforted and strengthened by their love.

7) Write it Down. Take all these suggestions and journal about your feelings and then write down the answers to the questions: How will I forgive? What will I gain by forgiving? What is the good in all this?What have I learned? How will my life be better by forgiving?

What Have You Got to Lose? - Only Peace

Who are you holding resentment against? Who are you angry at? Who do you hate? Do you want release from this heavy yoke around your heart?Do you want peace and happiness? Try forgiveness… for your sake. Take it slow. It is a process. Over time you can watch your anger melt. TheDalai Lama is said to have the heart health of a 20 year old according to his doctors. Why is that? Perhaps it just might be that he holds no anger. Imagine what it could do for you!

Please share your comments, experiences, and tips on Forgiveness! All comments big and small are very welcomed!

Candle Of your Life

2009-03-18T05:32:00.000+05:30

Plunged into depths of deepest despair
Into darkness that seems endless and long
You reach out your hand and hold me tight
Needing my light to guide you along
I give you the brightness of my light
To drive away all your darkest fears

And for every ray of light that i give
I melts away in molten tears
When the cloud of despair is lifted away
When light prevails and darkness is gone
Am blown out and thrown aside
After all my need for the moment is done
And there I lie lost and banished
Neglected and ignored in your busy life
Untill the darkness descends once again
And you need once more this Candle of your Life
[courtesy-To that Red little Candle which shared its life in that lonely dark hours with me]

6 Ways to Cope with Abusive Boss and Irritating Co-Workers

2009-03-18T04:30:00.000+05:30

Difficult people are a fact of life. At home you can avoid them by surrounding yourself with agreeable people, but in the work place most of us don't have that luxury.

While your natural tendency may be to avoid them at all costs, it's better to deal with them in a thoughtful manner. This is crucial to your career. If you develop the ability to work with anyone and handle the tough nuts, you'll be the natural choice for promotions and leadership positions.

The following are some suggestions for resolving potentially awkwardwork situations. Just remember, if we can learn to effectively deal with difficult people our work life will become much less stressful and far more enjoyable.

Self Confidence

When our lives are made difficult by unsympathetic and dominating people we can quickly lose our self-confidence. To avoid this it is important not to value the opinions of negative people. If we can maintain a self confidence and self belief then it will be easy to ignore the criticisms of difficult work colleagues. Self confidence will not be built by heavily criticizing the difficult person. Selfconfidence comes through remembering our own positive qualities.

Should You Find a New Job?

Sometimes the people we work with are so awkward that we want to move and get another job. This is a difficult choice. The first thing to remember is that if we move jobs, there is a high chance we will meet similar problems, just with a different set of people. If we keep moving jobs with the hope of finding an office full of saints, we will be continually on the move.

The first thing is to try and deal with the situation; we need to be detached from the awkward person as much as possible. However, if we have really tried everything possible and work is still making us miserable, then is it worth considering a new job. We spend so much of our waking time in our job that we can't allow unpleasant people to spoil it.

Dealing with a Dominating Boss

Some people enjoy bossing others around; maybe they have their own insecurities and so they try to take it out on their work colleagues.If you have a dominating boss there are no easy solutions. One solution is to give in on little things and consider them as insignificant. If they insist on small issues are done in a certainway then just comply. Generally, it is not worth arguing about thebest place to store the stapler - save your energy for more important issues. Don't feel bad about having to follow these small instructions, even if you don't agree with them. Just see it as partof your job.

However, whilst it is good to give in on small things, there are certain issues where we cannot allow ourselves to be pushed around. Ifyour boss is encouraging you to be unpleasant to others, lie or perform deceptive actions, then you should not feel compelled to follow. If you feel inwardly awkward about something then avoid doing it. If you start to follow all the whims of your boss, they will in variably seek to exploit your willingness and only ask you to domore awkward tasks.

If you are asked to do something you feel is wrong, you should also try seek the support of other members of staff and someone more seniorin the company. In these situations it is not helpful to suffer in silence; a good company should have a support procedure for this kind of eventuality. If your company has no support structure in procedure,consider looking for help from independent bodies who can offer advice.

Avoiding Arguments

Difficult people are usually even more troublesome when you get into arguments. If you are asked to do something you disagree with, it might be appropriate to maintain a silence and just avoid doing it. If your boss encourages you to do the wrong thing, don't feel obliged to tell him why he is wrong. Dominating people dislike being told they are wrong; in response they will just be defensive and more aggressive.Instead, just continue to do the right thing. For example, if you are encouraged to speak badly of other colleagues just refuse to do it;make a point of picking out some positive qualities of that person.
In these circumstances actions speak louder than words. Rather than arguing directly with our boss, we just don't follow their bad advice.This means we can avoid doing the wrong thing without having to tellour boss why they are mistaken. This may not help in every circumstance but it is often worth trying.

Dealing With Constant Criticism.

Some people seem to have an eye for picking up on people's faults. No mistake, no matter how small, seems to escape their attention. They even seem to get a certain sense of satisfaction from pointing it out.These kind of people are not much fun to work with, but we shouldn't let them make our work an unpleasant experience.Firstly, don't take all their criticisms to heart. If our presentation has a few errors, it doesn't mean we are a bad person. If someone is pointing out all our mistakes, remember all the good things you have done; critical people are often blind to the positive contributions people can make. Don't respond in kind. If we respond to criticism by
finding similar faults in the other person there will be no end to the negativity. Either just ignore it or try to find some good things thatother people have done. Just smile and remember how insignificant their complaints are.

Leave Work at Work

The good thing about working with difficult people is that at least at the end of the day, you can forget all about your work. But, make sure you do completely switch off from work, and avoid thinking about work problems in the evening and at the weekends. Develop a social life that doesn't involve just meeting work colleagues. It is good to make a clean break where there is no chance of the conversation being dominated by boring work stuff.If you find yourself worrying about awkward people away from work, itis a sign that they are having an unhealthy impact on your life. If this is the case, you need to feel greater detachment. Just try not to think about them, tell yourself that whatever problem exists can wait until the next workday.

Conclusion

It is not easy to offer advice about how to deal with difficult people. Every case is different. Whilst maintaining silence may be appropriate in one case, in another circumstance it may be better to seek the help of other people. There is no simple formula for dealing with difficult people. However, certain principles can make your life easier.The most important thing is to learn how to detach yourself from the problems at work. This means we don't allow awkward people to dominate our lives. The most effective way to do this is be careful what we think about. We need to ignore their complaints and criticisms anddevelop our self confidence. If we can develop self confidence then it will be much easier to deal with whatever situation we are facing.

Willing is not enough, You must do.....

2009-03-17T03:42:00.000+05:30

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."- Les Brown

Instead of having a mental 'to do' list, a handful of good intentions or some vague desire to make changes, connect your plans for self improvement by focusing on specific goals. Goal setting helps you make better decisions, ensures you achieve your short- and long-term objectives, and allows you to measure your accomplishments.
But goal achievement, especially when it comes to self improvement,can be a mystery. Most of us have no trouble with the first step —setting a goal is the easy part — it's those other steps that can be apuzzle.

But you CAN turn achieving your goals into a science with the right strategies.

Here are a few of my favorites:

1. DO be specific.
DON'T deal in absolutes.Avoid the words 'some' and 'more', as in "I will get SOME exercise" or"I will eat MORE veggies and fruits." Deal in measurable things that you have control over. And never say 'never' or 'always.' All or nothing is a common attitude that leads people back to bad habits.

2. DO create a plan.
DON'T wait for "someday" to roll around.Setting the goal is just the first step. Know where you're going, what resources you'll need, who can help and — above all — what Plan B is when life throws a monkey wrench into Plan A.

3. DO write it down.
DON'T forget to give yourself a deadline.Deadlines turn wishes into goals, they generate the motivation necessary for you to get yourself to take action. The act of writing down your goal is powerful enough to keep you committed and focused.Better yet, find a visual that represents your goal or how your lifewill be different. Seeing it makes it seem more possible.

4. DO start small. DON'T focus on too many things at once.
Start very small, get the habit of starting handled, then build. Use a small goal that you know you can do each day for the next two weeks,like getting up without the snooze or drinking eight cups of water.Build that first habit to boost your confidence and pick up speed.

5. DO leave room for failure. DON'T expect perfection.
Persistence is key. Accept the fact that you might not make it on the first try. In a recent study, only 40 percent of people who successfully followed New Year's resolutions did it on the first try;17 percent of resolution achievers took six or more tries before they got it right — but they did get it right.

6. DO track your progress. DON'T fool yourself into failure.
Tracking provides valuable feedback and indications of areas that may need to be addressed or adjusted. Memory can be pretty selective. It conveniently forgets that extra brownie while remembering activity that never happened. The only way to know for sure is to track goals regularly with a checklist or journal.

7. DO reward your success. DON'T beat yourself up over failure.
This is the step that trips up most individuals. Negative reinforcement is all around us, telling us every day what we're doing wrong. This is not the approach to take to succeed with your goals.Why not focus on what you're doing right instead? If you take a stepback, learn from it and take two steps forward.

8. DO find a support system. DON'T try to do it alone.
Whether the goals you want to achieve are personal goals, business goals, or a combination of both, a goal buddy can be your key to goalsetting success. People that can help are all around you — on the forums, at work, even in your own family. Just add one person to your support group, and you double your motivation, double your energy,double your commitment — and double your FUN.

Measure your progress on a regular basis. Do a review of where you are and how far you've come every three months. Think of it as doing a quarterly performance review. One of the reasons resolutions and planscrumble in the face of day-to-day responsibilities is a lack of focus.Tie everything you do into your overall goal and you can achieve amazing results

Memories

2009-03-13T20:42:00.000+05:30

My footsteps let to the attic floor
I felt the creaking staircase sway
Slowly and softly i climbed them up
Clearing the cobwebs away

The door sung back with ease and quiet,
The room lay dark and seemed at rest;
Trapped in the past,it lovingly held
Beautiful memories clutched to its breast.
The dull glow from my candle flame
Pick out shapes hauntingly old;
The years just rolled away from me
Each shape its foregotten stories told.

The framed photograph fallen on the floor
With unseen hand beckoned me near;
I cleared away the dust of fears
And gazed once more at those faces dear

Those blurred images sprung into my life
The present gone,I was back in the past ;
My remembering eyes clouded over,
Reliving the moment of love that I lost

A bundle of dusty letters I found
Held lovingly by a dirty bow;
My eyes caressed the printed words
Written in love those summers ago
The cards that proclaimed tender care
Still held in them petals of flowers,
Those soft fragrance brought back to me
The magic of those stolen hours

The broken sea shell,pale and smooth,
One of the relics time has spared;
I kept it to my ear and heard,
Echoes of joyful laughter shared

The rusty pen,the sketch so old
Each object brought me joy and pain
Though time went on,for me it stood still,
In a room where the past was here again
I sat among the snatches of memories
Their beauty mirrored in my tears.
In that silent room,echoes of yesterday
Were lost in time to human ears.

Alone

2009-03-10T12:05:00.001+05:30

Alone I stand with no support,
Not even a hand to hold;
My silence speaks of profound pain
And of lonliness untold.
Each ray of sunshine into my life,
Brings a glimmer of hope with it;
But leaves me soon in the lonely dark,
Taking a part of me away with it.
It always takes, but never gives
Is that how it destined to be?
Only silence greets my unspoken thoughts
A silence that speaks volume to me.
My tears dried up by relentless sun,
Or washed away by uncaring rain;
My heart thats full of love and care
Is choked to death by loss and pain
My life devoid of hope and light
Is full of sorrowful shadows cast.
So I stand alone,proud and erect,
Forbidden and forgotten,loved and lost.

How to Resolve Conflicts in Your Relationships

2009-03-08T05:08:00.000+05:30

Every relationship in our life - friendships, family, romantic and professional - can potentially be destroyed by conflict. The solution is not to ignore the conflict or keep moving around hoping to find a set of perfect people. We need to deal with the problems we currently face, otherwise they will just reappear elsewhere.
To a large extent, the only thing we can change in relationships is ourself and our own attitude. We can't expect to change other people,but we can learn to deal with relationships in a way that promotes harmony and diffuses conflict. Resolving conflicts in relationships is one of the most important life skills we can develop and it is something we need to value.

Seeing the Issue From the Other Person's Perspective.
If we have a difficult issue, it is important to see the problem from the other person's perspective. This does not mean we have to agree with their viewpoint; it means we try to see the issue from a different perspective. This empathy can at least help us to understand where they are coming from, and why they have their particular mindset. If we can do this we may wish to moderate our stance because we understand why they are acting in a certain way. If we only look at things from our perspective, conflict will be much more likely to occur. For example, a parent dealing with difficult children should consider the perspective that children can have at that point in life.

Tolerance
A major cause of conflict in relationships is when we expect people to behave in a certain way. The problem with expecting certain behaviour is that we get upset when they fail to live up to our expectations.Even those close to us are not our responsibility; we need to be tolerant of their mistakes and limitations. We have to respect their decisions on how to live their life. This detachment is not indifference; we shall retain concern and goodwill, but there comes apoint where we need to give people the freedom to make their own choices - even if we don't agree with them. This is especially true for parents who have an overbearing expectation of how their children will live their lives.

Dealing with Anger
Unfortunately, if we respond to situations by getting angry we will exacerbate the problem. Anger embodies a feeling of aggression and condemnation which people struggle to deal with it. Invariably it encourages people to respond in a similar way. If we feel angry, the best solution is to avoid talking / arguing at that particular time.We should calm our anger before confronting other people. Any conflict will only be exacerbated by anger. Similarly, if people approach us with anger, we have to respond in a different way - silence is better than getting mad at someone.

Value Harmony
To a large extent we get what we aspire for. If we really value harmony in our relationships with others, then we will make it happen.If we give greater important to proving ourselves right and our own ego, then there will be a constant feeling of superiority and inferiority which breeds conflict. If we keep reminding ourselves ofthe desirability of harmony we won't allow ourselves to become miserable; we will work hard to think of others.

Oneness
The real secret to maintaining good relationships is generating a feeling of oneness. This means we will feel happy at the success of others; we will sympathize when they experience difficulties; we will endeavour to avoid hurting their feelings. In oneness there is no superiority and inferiority. Without oneness, we are prone to feelings of pride, jealousy and insecurity. If you feel a really genuine sense of oneness with other people, how can you want to hurt them?

Insecurity and Inner Poise
When we are full of insecurities our relationships become more difficult. The problem is that if we are insecure about ourselves we can become judgemental about other people; to make ourselves feel better we will start criticizing others. We may not be conscious of this, but it does happen. When we are peace with ourselves, good relationships will be natural. When we have inner peace and poise, we don't rely on other people to give us security and praise. When we are at peace with ourselves, we tend to have a sympathetic and positive view of the world. Often we want to blame bad relationships on otherpeople; but, actually the only thing we can really do is to work on ourselves. If we develop inner peace and poise our relationships will definitely improve.

Talking
When tense situations arise, talking can be the most effective way of moving past the problem. Some things are best left unsaid; it is inadvisable to bring up old conflicts unless absolutely necessary.When talking we should try to converse on positive issues; look for things which we agree on and can work together on.

Perspective
Don't get upset about little things. In the great cosmic game, most oft he minor personality conflicts are relatively insignificant. If we get mad when someone doesn't do the washing up, how are we going to react when they do something really bad? If you find yourself getting worked up by a series of small things, take a step back and try to evaluate their relative importance. For each minor failing try tot hink of a really good quality of that person. If you are sincere you will feel that this good quality is far more important than the minor indiscretion.

Raising Problems
Although we don't want to bring up old scores, sometimes it is important to make another person aware of the problems they are creating. If we feel someone else is constantly doing something wrong,we need to make them aware of their behaviour in a non confrontational way. Often people just aren't aware of the problems they are creating and may actually appreciate being made aware of the problem. The best approach is to try and make them aware of how their actions cause painto others; but, we need to try and do it in a way that doesn't make them feel excessively guilty. Give them room and encouragement to make the necessary change.No conflict is intractable. If we are willing to change our attitudewe can develop harmony even with difficult people. It is always important to be positive and forget the past. If we can develop harmony in our relationships, it will definitely make a big difference to our life.

what not to do in conversation?

2009-03-06T06:24:00.000+05:30

Sometimes we find ourselves in unpleasant situations because we've said something wrong or just in a wrong manner. Although the art of conversation looks quite simple, there are many rules to follow in order not to create a bad impression.

1. You shouldn't be the only one to talk even if you are the greatest story-teller ever. Even if you've been to the North Pole and you've seen polar bears and whales that doesn't mean that you should talk the entire evening. Avoid using "I" in everything you say because the others will think you are egocentric.

2. Avoid repeating the same idea even if it's brilliant, don't jump to a conclusion after every statement you hear from the others and don't talk in general about people after just hearing one case. All these would only lead to one result:
-if you are the host, your guests will start finding excuses: theyhave children at home, a project to finish…
-if you are a guest the others will avoid you and you will findyourself in an uncomfortable position.

3. If you are not sure about the meaning of a word try not to use it just to impress. It's not a shame to use a dictionary when necessary and this way you won't make a fool out of yourself. Many times people discuss about personalities or about the international situation. If you don't know how to pronounce a name you should ask because no one was born to know it all.

4. Even if you are right about something, not only once but a million times, let the other person finish and then tell your opinion about the subject. Express your opinions calmly and try not to be ironic and violent in order not to spoil everyone's evening. Try to be respectful, especially in what involves the elderly. By being calm the others will be more interested in what you are saying.

5. When talking to someone try to look him or her in the eye so or else that person will think you are not sincere or that you are just not interested.

6. When supporting an idea try to use rational arguments; don't approve an idea you are not sure of and don't contradict everything just to be original. You won't attract the others' attention in a pleasant way.If the "opponent" has had more arguments than you and proved to know more about the subject don't leave looking offended or upset. Smile and put an end to the discussion in a polite way or even more let yourself convinced.

7. When meeting someone new, talk about yourself but seize the right moment to let the other person speak too. Don't ask too personal questions especially questions that could affect the one you are talking to such as "So how come that you divorced after only a year?"

These are just a few rules but in fact there are many more to follow.What is the most important is to think about how the others feel and to respect them. And there is always something to learn in order to be successful, and this depends greatly on your ability to interact with other people; being able to carry a conversation is important for everybody.

Reflections

2009-03-05T12:43:00.000+05:30

There is stillness in the air
No chirp,no rustle,no blare
The mind mindlessly reflects back
At what life has and what it lacks
The days just passed by
Like a short breeze,cold but dry
How moments slipped away so fast
Taking away the first and last
How each decision,every move
Decides whether you win or loose
The game of life that is to be placed
Time keeps on moving...memories fade
But the shadow of what had been
Always remain...not unseen
It is in something you can wash away
But accompanies you through your way
The experience of your shadow
Help you make choices as you grow

Stress management

2009-03-02T12:35:00.000+05:30

Stress management is the controlling and reducing of tension that occurs in stressful situations. Everyone copes with stress everyday."I'm SO stressed out!" - It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every one you know . Most people are unprepared to deal with stressors that trigger feelings that can make us sick. Literally,sick.

Here are 7 coping skills to stress proof your life.

1.Know how to relax - find a quiet place, get comfy make sure your body is well supported. Breath slowly and deeply.

2. Eat right and exercise often - avoid caffeine and refined sugar,eat dairy products which may improve your mood. Make exercise a part of your daily life-even if it's only taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking at the far end of the lot.

3. Learn it is OK to say 'no'. Often, many of us feel we have to say'yes' to everyone, every time we're asked for help. You can't be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need.

4. Take a mini-vacation from stress. If you can find fifteen minutes aday, or one hour a week if daily isn't possible, make a date withyourself. Schedule a walk around the block, lunch in the park, asunrise or sunset alone, a bubble bath without interruptions.

5. Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don't feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

6. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone. Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

7. Have a good sense of humor. Be a resource to yourself. Try something new, learn to play again. Laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that restore calm.

It's how you react to stress that makes all the difference in maintaining your health and well-being. Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress is not the same foreveryone. You'll never completely get rid of stress, but you can learn to manage stress with coping techniques that work for you. I hope that I've given you some great ideas on how you can deal with stress

How to deal with Breakups?

2008-09-09T09:57:00.000+05:30

When we start to break down,

No ones there to stop the fall, but us,

In our mistakes, we start to drown,

Built up walls start to come down

~ M C Rayzer~

Unlike other breakups that seem to be expected or come from nowhere,it can be extremely hard being in a loveless relationship, trying to figure out if you should work on the relationship, or bear the pain of breaking up. Does it seem that whenever there is conflict between you and your partner, that neither of you are able to compromise nor find common ground to work out a happy medium? If you feel like your relationship is coming to an end and the break up seems inevitable,here are a couple of things you can try to salvage it

#1 Stop playing the blame game.

It is all too common and easy that when relationship problems strike,to blame our partner rather than looking at ourselves for the fault.He is not interested at all anymore in what I have to say. She's always so distant. Would it be too much to ask, for once, if he could just do something nice for me for a change. If she could just stop complaining I might do more things for her etc.By blaming your partner,it will only lead to them being on the defense. First you must love other and accept them for who they are; you should avoid focusing on what they lack.

#2 Stop being so clingy.

Depending on your partner to do everything with you is a very serious habit that should not be developed. When you're too dependent on your partner, it's very common for a break up to occur. It's important to know that you and your partner need time apart, and you don't needt hem to run around on errands with you. It is not healthy to want to be with your partner all the time, it can be advantageous to both yourself and the relationship to find and enjoy hobbies that you can do on your own, outside of the relationship.

#3 How are you communicating with your partner?

In a healthy relationship, communication needs to be priority.Arguments, snide remarks and sarcastic comments are not effective forms of communication between you and your loved one, as these comments can be hurtful and are extremely disrespectful and demeaning to your significant other and may cause other problems. It is extremely inappropriate to speak to friends or colleagues that way, so why do you find it acceptable to address your loved one in thatmanner?

#4. Stop listening to the negatives.

Are you always assuming that you know what your partner is thinking or doing? If your partner doesn't cater to your every whim, do you convince yourself that they don't love you? Stop going with your negative beliefs because they are not reality.

#5 Are you paying attention to your partner?

Are you showing an interest in your partner and what he or she likes?Do they have a fair chance when giving you their side of the argument?A lot of the time, we need to be right and don't listen to what they're saying. The next time you disagree, try using a normal tone ofvoice and listen to your partner's point of view. No one is right all the time, and by not listening carefully you might be missing something important.

When the above actions fail and do not make any significant changes in the communication aspect of the relationship, it may be time for something more drastic. Time apart is recommended when a relationshiphas been pushed to its breaking point and both parties involved are suffering. Take this time, clear your head and decide what it is that you really want.

One day to Defeat your negative feelings

2008-06-08T11:27:00.000+05:30

The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.
Have to stand up to be stronger.
(~Within Temptation~ )

You don't want to see anyone and you would rather be left alone. Your head spins and a million thoughts storm inside your mind. Maybe everyone should just disappear, maybe everyone is incapable of understanding you, maybe they should all stop judging you and may be those neighbours should stop with their music! But maybe a new day is what you need to pass over everything…

7:00 Wake up- Be at peace with yourself. A disease, the death ofsomeone close, debts, a bad relationship, the others' attitude…one of them or even more would be enough to shake anyone's stability, atleast for a while. Hiding your problem or not acknowledging it will do nothing but to make you sadder, incapable of communicating with the others and with yourself and will affect your self esteem.Whatever your problem is, it's absolutely normal to come across a difficulty, so hating yourself or the others won't bring you absolutely any good. Acknowledging your problem is maybe the most important step.

8:00 Preparing for the day ahead. Even if most realize in the end what it is that causes their negative reactions towards the world, they decide either to give up on finding a solution or to do everything on their own. It's easy to turn your back on the entire world and to become isolated just because the situation seems just too tough sometimes. The next step is to realize that mad world offers a great advantage too: nobody is totally alone. In the end, everyone has someone to turn to; and once you've asked for help, some advice orjust a hug you've made the biggest step.

13:00 Lunch. Take the phone and dial your friend's number. Maybe the only advantage of a bad situation is that you see who your realfriends are, even though sometimes we feel like we would rather neverknow. Sharing something so intimate for the first time is very difficult, but it helps anyone overcome isolation and rebuilds that person's trust in people. To finally confide after some time is like putting some ice on a twisted ankle: it's unpleasant at first but it proves to be a great relief. So spend some time with a friend or a family member. Sometimes there's no need to speak at all. Specialized help is also a solution. There's nothing shameful in visiting a therapist. Many people do it, in fact and that person was specially trained to offer you guidance.

17:00 The great outdoors. Some can easily get rid of their hate and frustration through physical exercise, long walks and short trips.Physical effort is usually followed by a great feeling of achievement and also by tiredness. This is good because it will help you sleepfaster and much better. Trips, especially in places where nature is still untouched can help someone clear his or her mind and maybe finally reach a decision. Activities such as watching TV for a longtime or playing computer games will do nothing but to keep you away from the others. And maybe both you and them deserve another chance.

19:00 Dinner- make a plan. If something went wrong it does not mean that you can't give it another chance. Spend as much time as possible in people's company and don't be afraid to speak out or to ask for advice. Make some plans for the future, maybe not to become richer than Bill Gates, but set goals that would make you feel proud when achieving them. Try to get a book you wanted for a long time, raise money to buy something you really wanted, start exercising and eating healthy food, get involved in voluntary work (helping others will have a miraculous effect). Binge eating will not solve your problems, but will add many others to the ones you already have.Direct your energy towards one of these purposes (of course, without exaggerating). You will feel great once you have achieved one of them or you've helped someone as it will show you that there is still enough potential that you can exploit

22:00 Sleep. It's not simple to pass over everything and many times your problems seem not to leave you alone. You have hard time getting any sleep, you are concerned. Whenever you feel like, discuss, try to find a way and don't allow your negative feelings to return. Keep in your mind the fact that there are people who care about you and that they have reasons to do so. Think about the good times, about the things you like, about the people you love. Try to put the good aspects of your life on the first place. Be optimistic: tell to yourself that life has yet a lot more to offer.The day has passed but many others will come. You can either choose to spend them isolated and full of negative feelings or you can break the barrier. So what will the new day bring?

Why Do We Avoid Doing what we love ?

2008-03-06T10:10:00.000+05:30

When we create, we come alive; we're making love to life. We use our unique talents, perception and skills and make the intangible tangible. Most of us generally know what we want in life. For every person, the answer to what brings us joy will be unique. For some it's playing guitar or dancing. For others it's writing, hiking, spending time with family, photography, or drawing.
So if we know what makes us feel alive, why do we resist it? Why do we avoid doing what we love to do?
I think there's a number of reasons that can help us explain this elusive phenomenon. Hopefully in discovering the blocks toward pursuing what is dearest to us, we can overcome them.
So why do we resist?
1. The inability to accept imperfections
. Do you think that Mona Lisa was Da Vinci's first painting? We think, if it's not perfect, why bother? But when we pursue the creative act, it's crucial that we suspend judgment. After all, you can always cull the fluff and ridiculous later.
What to do instead? Resist your temptation to have everything figured out before you start. Failure is fundamental to the creative process. If you don't fail, you'll never improve. Suspend your judgment and remember that whatever you don't like, you can always take out or re-do.
2. Not respecting the gestation of improvement.
Say you have a passion for dancing. The only problem is, you'd make a blind man cry. Remember that mastery of any art or skill takes time. No one starts out being a natural Michael Jackson. And anyway, look what fame did to him. Are you sure you want that?

What's a poor Napoleon Dynamite to do? Respect the fact that mastering any skill takes time. Instead of thinking about all the things that aren't right, think about what you can do now to improve.
3. Not accepting your creative identity.
All great artists, poets, musicians and creators, excelled by accepting their artistic identity. The truth is, we are all artists. We're creating the story of our life in each moment. We're not just humans living, we're artists shaping a story. Accepting your identity as an artist is accepting your creative nature.
So how can we gain the confidence to accept out creative identity? The biggest block toward your acceptance of your creative nature is probably due to self-judgment. How can you possibly accept that you are a writer when you haven't hit the bestseller list? While external affirmations are important, the approval of your heart is equally important. If you feel in your heart that you are born to be an athlete, but don't have Magic Johnson's skills, that's okay. What matters is that you feel deeply in your heart that is what you want. It makes you come alive.
4. We've turned our passion into work.
Anytime you feel that you must do something, you lose inspiration. You lose your sense of excitement. In our society and in general, we have a clearly separate work and play. "Work hard, play hard!" is a common motto people tell others to make them feel a little better about their drudgery. We don't have to dread work, it's a choice. That's the problem when our passion has also become our work. We tend to think it's our passion has become something we must do. There's no fun in that.
What can we do to re-ignite our passion? We need to get our heart back in it. Spend 15 minutes just visualizing what you want to create. Think about how it makes you feel. How does it make your body feel? What excites you about it? Think about all the reasons you wanted to do it in the first place. If you feel the urge to start working on it, hold yourself back until the 15 minutes are over.

This a great tool for realigning yourself and remember the reason you started in the first place. Sometimes our mind tends to overpower the heart. It's our logical faculty after all right? Using this exercise helps us re-align ourselves.
Lost in Space
The truth is, we're often the most productive when what we're doing has absolutely no purpose. We come alive when we've lost track of time, doing what we love.
Perhaps its not our weakness, but our greatness that we fear the most.